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I will prepare a list of “happy things” to discuss with her……..So no talking about her life then…!!

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Welcome to my world dog!

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They run flapathons in secret and everything…..

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Caked in sh*t, absolutely caked in it now.

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“Look over there, there is a badger with a gun!”

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Typical peaceful Sunday then.......

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I saw red!

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I have actually been sucking the bogeys out of my 2 ½-year-old’s nose....

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Lazy cow!

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Where there is no cock (!) there will be no chicks….

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sorry all, going to kick my internet provider's ar*e...and hopefully be back blogging, back on line soon!

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Time management skills, bollocks to them!

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Good god, give me strength.....!

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I could do with a P.A (any offers?!)

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I really do make an effort..........

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And from here on in, I shall be taking ‘Makeup Lady’ to the shops every week……superb!

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Practical it may be, but trendy, it is not……

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I will be putting a nappy on a dog

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I did something awful today..........

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Oh the shame........

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‘Stop it now mummy, you’re scaring us’

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Maybe I could exchange my kids for a small monkey farm??? I am well equipped!

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I am now akin to She-ra, with the powers of grey skull. Fantastic. Super handy!

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