Saturday, 27 August 2011

Dear Esmie Rose...

Dear 3-year-old Esmie Rose, today!

My baby you are three already! The years have flown by, and I have watched you develop into your own little character, totally independent from your brother and 2 sisters, you ‘get on with it’ do you own thing, never too far from them, often playing with them, but happy, just being you. I see already your confidence, your curious nature, your dazzlingly wicked smile, your huge blue eyes. I see as well, your loving nature, your incredible affectionate side, the cuddles that you *squeeze* out of us, and your stroppy one!

I didn’t know I’d have you, you were in fact my fifth pregnancy. But we battled on, through some health issues found in the womb, and saw all that through to a very positive end, you are healthy and blossoming now.

You are a Rose to me, beautiful, soft but with a sharp side, a side that can stand up for herself, and I love that. It is all YOU, all Esmie Rose.

As a baby you were rarely out of my arms, I cherished every second of my ‘last’ baby, you slept fairly well, and still do, thank you for that, I owe you one! You weren’t fussed to walk, happy watching the world go by, doing things your own way, in your own time. But when at 14 months you finally did walk, there was absolutely no one and nobody that could stop you. You do fabulous roly poly’s now, and enjoy the obstacle course races I set up for you and the bigger 3 in the house/garden to ‘kill time’…you attempt it all, determined to do it, getting cross with anyone for trying to help. ‘Leave me alone!’ you shout at your brother and sisters, you know what you want to do, and you are damn well going to do it BY YOURSELF!

As your mother, I am blown away everyday to have you kids, to have you as my daughter. I have to pinch myself to check it’s really true, that I am lucky enough that you came to me, I am your mummy. You brighten me up, you make me laugh, real raw belly laughs. Your little look of concentration as you try and sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (your favourite), and woop and ‘yey’ at the end (maybe because mummy’s stopped singing at last?) and each time I suggest we sing a song, your look of delight melts my heart. ‘I’m a little Tea pot’ is your current favourite, and as you apply yourself to the choreography, you never fail to make me smile. In fact today in the car you had a paddy when Lola was not singing  ‘I’m a little tea pot’…

You cannot help but boogie when you hear music, you copy dance moves and have been the same since you were a baby. Your God Mother, Jadie Kell is a dance teacher, so that’s handy! Were it not for the difference in countries!

I long to stop the clock, to stop all of you from growing up so quickly, I try my best to spend time with you and listen to you. I am not perfect, I am an extremely fallible human being, and I hope you will see that even if my ‘mothering’ ways you do not always understand or frustrate you, I honestly, honestly from the depths of my heart and my soul, am always trying to guide you in the ‘right’ way, never meaning ever to hurt you or misinterpret you. I am trying to guide you also in a spiritual way, to encourage you to be free to explore that, and hope you will.

When you grow up, I hope I will not be a ‘disappointment’ of a mother to you, I hope my efforts, however wrong I may get them at times, you will understand.

If I am ever wrong, if I do misinterpret you, I am sorry now for this, there’ll be, no doubt, plenty of these times.

Right now, my angel, you are tucked up in your bed, cuddling your ‘dou dou’ with no pyjama bottoms on ‘because you were ‘hot’, and your sheets kicked onto the floor for the same reason. God forbid I should go and try and put any of these back on!

I love you my sweet heart, a love unfathomable, a love I never even knew existed till I had you kids, a love that terrifies me (how can I ever let you leave home, my side even???) a love that is utterly unconditional, a love that will never ever subside, a love that is the most beautiful untangible thing you could ever imagine.

Happy birthday Esmie Rose, 3 today!!

Always live life being true to yourself, my baby.

Love from Mummy xxx

Friday, 26 August 2011

Well, I told you so…

Stick-in-the-mud rules were slightly bent in our version of it today. We went to the park (Alex had a day off work today) and then afterwards for a walk around the lake nearby. We got there, exhausted from the park where we both had been on *steer the mental child who has not stopped running in circles blindly since the minute his dad opened the park gate for him away from other small children* duty, it had been heavy weight, and it had taken both Alex’s and my combined efforts. We were practically high fiving and chest pumping each other every time we avoided yet another small child run over by mental child incident. So we opted to go and walk around the lake, we got there, spotted a picnic bench not too far off and decided to call it a day, sitting down and telling the kids to ‘go play hide-and-seek’. We felt a bit guilty, so Alex made up the rules to Stick-in-the-mud. He counted, we all hid, we then had to run to a safe place before he caught us, if you are caught, you are stuck in the mud, quite obviously. You could free another person if you were free however. The game ended up dragging on for soooo long, Alex added another rule ‘stuck-in-the-concrete’ which meant you were fully out. I went first and nearly puked as he cave man carried me to the ‘out’ tree. Which he did to each and every kid. We were all out, and could finally go home! Although I piggy-backed Mitzi, Alex drew the short straw and had Ezza on his shoulders and Lola on his back…We nearly died out there today…
But we didn’t!! And so I still lived to collect my 19-year-old nephew Buster (Monty Buster’s name sake!) from the airport in the afternoon, and make a ginormous tuna pasta bake with creamy mushroom sauce. I also made a big mushroom soup whilst I was at it (cooking), which incidentally went down like a bag of shite down a slide…I learned this from initially the up turned noses and curled lips, ‘Errr, thank you mum, this looks lovely’ I prompt the kids, then the intermittent borks out of the corners of my beady ‘watching kids at chimpanzees' meal time party’ eyes. The ‘phew, I’ve finished’s and the ‘mum, I didn’t like it, and it didn’t smell nice either, but I did eat it anyway, and it was lovely’s (?) decide for me that I will not attempt to disguise their collective WORST vegetable in the world as a soup again, for a while…

Monty comments to me tonight how DOUBLE COOL it is to have Buster here, he has been counting down the days, and kept asking me all day whether it was time to go to the airport yet? He has had the biggest grin on his face since we picked him up! However at the table, after Lola says to Buster, ‘well, show us your muscles then, Buster’ He flexes, and they all go ‘hmmm, OK, but Daddy’s are up to here’ with enormous gestures of ginormous mountainous objects! So that wiped the smile off Buster’s face, and will definitely put a big one on Daddy’s when he gets home from work! 

Thud! Tears and screams, and oh b*ll*cks, I sprint upstairs to find Esmie had been spinning around and around (still not asleep in bed then…) and fallen over decking her chin on the edge of the bed, hold on a minute, the ducks are quacking outside the front door, they obviously think it’s their dinner time. One stray chicken was out there too, she is not quite as phenomenally proportioned as the rest, and can still flap her own weight off the ground, with some success, as she can escape the confines of the pen Alex has just done them. CHICKEN PRISON *big smiley face* anyway, the chin decking spinny child incident, well, she’s arnicad up, and has a whacker of a bruise. Well, I told you so…!

See you tomorrow, It's my beautiful Esmie’s 3rd birthday…my baby is THREE!

Tamsyn x

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Parents’ worst nightmare...

Well Monday was WICKED! There was the town fete thing all weekend, we have been punished every evening with the most horrendous music billowing through the trees and over the hill and down to our house, sung by strangled cats on Diazepam, FRENCH strangled cats on Diazepam…it’s just too awful, an assualt to the ears, covers of French pop songs, is there anything, really in this whole wide world, that could possibly be a worse experience? No more sitting out in the evenings, Alex and I feel like we have walked into a Karaoke for the French ‘let out in the community for the day’ brigade. 

A  picci of some of the biscuit making kids here the other day...The others had snuck off to eat chocolate crumbs out of the wrapper...

Despite this, today was a day they had HUGE inflatable things, water slides and a spectacle and sweets and coke (-a–cola) for the kids..then home time, yeah thanks. Sweets, then coke, then told it’s time to go home, in one fell swoop. Parents’ worst nightmare those 3 things together, in that order. My friend suggests we all go back to hers for a bit. She has a beautiful house and lots of garden space for the kids and a swimming pool. So this seems a good option. Esmie comes up to me, we are sitting by the pool letting the kids do their *watch me mum, watch me, mum, oh no not that time, hang on, I’ll just do it again, are you watching, mum, mum? Are you…’* thing, and I half listen to Esmie as I follow through with her request to ‘pull off my arm bands’. With out thinking, I hadn’t listened to the end of her request, she’d been happily jumping in the pool armbanded up. Her request had been to ‘take my armbands off so I can jump without them. Calling her to come back from the ‘swim pool’ without her armbands, she shouts ‘WATCH!’ and jumps in…I of course leap out of the chair, take off my shoes, and go to jump in, when I see I can just grab her arm, and save drenching myself in my clothes, mascara running everywhere, creating a black gulf stream in my swimming pool. Any way, this was an event spared. However, after the incident, I turned to my friends and asked them why the hell I had taken off my flip flops. Just before I nearly jumped in, through my head went the thought ‘you must first remove your flip flops’ how mad’s that? I am still completely baffled as to why I did this? Can anyone enlighten me?

So another late night for all concerned, I gave my other friend and son a lift home, and rolled in at 8.30 pm, to have a mini heart attack as Alex rises from the outside sofa…he’s doing out door work at the moment, and had fallen asleep an hour and a half ago, when he got home and found he had no key! At any rate he gave me the fright of my life rising up slowly and bleary eyed-good job it was my husband, I have 4 kids in the car I plan to set on any Burglar...

I have some of my favourite flowers growing in the garden ‘Cana’ but I have no idea what you call them in English-hang on *google translates* and voila: they are, in English ’Canna’...tricky. Here’s a picci:

Now, they are ever so pretty, and worth chopping off their petals with scissors apparently. I see the de-petaled flowers which had only blossomed TODAY strewn upon the floor. Esmie is nearby, scissors in hand, cutting the grass now. ‘Err Esmie?’ I call her, she walks over, ‘yes, mum?’ ‘well, look, I have just found all the beautiful flower chopped up on the floor’ ‘Oh.’ She looks surprised (hmmmm) I continue, ‘well, who did it?’ shrugs, ‘it was Lola’ Lola is standing right next to her, and denies the accusation, she is believed (obviously) Esmie then blames Mitzi, then giving up, goes ‘OK, it was the chickens’ really? To which Lola butts in, ‘Well, errrm I don’t really think that it could have been Esmie, coz chickens do not have fingers to hold scissors, they only have feathers, so t couldn’t have been’. Esmie is insistent however. The chickens did it. She is so convinced of her own lie that taking the scissors off her makes me feel a bit mean. But to be fair…!!

So the mystery of the flower cutter is unanswered chez us…On an exciting note, it’s Esmie’s 3rd birthday in a few days, our nephew will be here, so it’ll be a lovely family do, and Minnie mouse themed!! Planning the cake now, it takes some planning, I can tell ya!
Ezza in costume...she wore it ALL day and will be till school, and even at school, she informs me!

So see you tomorrow, if you dare return…

Tamsyn x *Minnie mouse cakes, Minnie mouse cakes, Minnies mouse cakes, Minnie smouse aches OMG*

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

quick pic: 'I look lovelies, don't I mummy?'...

Add caption
After taking this pic of the costume Esmie's friend has lent her for her birthday with Ezza in it, she checks the photo out and announces 

'Oooo I am so lovelies, aren't I mummy?'

Yes, angel you are, even with your finger up your nose...

Monday, 22 August 2011

I literally cannot take any more flaps to the face/arse or shin.

Thankfully of late, the weather has been glorious! Hot, and beachy, so we’ve been beaching it up. The kids are (bar Esmie) all swimming, at different levels, but confidently and loving it, so I am very proud!
Bury them in the sand and MAKE A BREAK FOR IT ALEX...QUICKLY before they follow us!

We are out in the garden, Alex is fencing in a corner of it for the chickens. I literally cannot take any more flaps to the face/arse or shin. That’s not even talking about their laying eggs in cars, flapping violently up into my children’s faces and snatching food from their angelic mouths (very much a true story, I add, and plenty more than once it happened too), the s**t, the smell, the fact I feel violated by CHICKENS…I am a grown woman, we are being bullied by our ostrich chickens and flapped into submission…But I say NO! No more of this, and so I made Alex put up a fenced off corner for them. We are FREE!! Woohoo, they are so huge they cannot fly as their wings are not strong enough to flap any height for any length of time. Hallelujah to putting steps in place towards an easier, scary animal free area, life.
The swimming kids....

I walk through the garden to get some figs off the tree at the end, they’re ripening now, and TOO delicious! I feel a jam-make coming on, my friend’s kids had been over to play for the day, and I was sending her back with some chocolate chip cookies we’d baked and figs from the garden. I dart off going ‘No, it’s fine, I’ll just leap over and grab you some’ with this I do actually leap, trip over and slip down the big mound I was trying to jump both impressively and nimbly. I grazed my knee on the gravel and made holes in my leggings! I felt a right wally, she stood pointing and laughing, so did all the kids, so I hobbled on to collect her some figs. As I walk under the walnut tree, they all decide to take 'suicide walnutter stance' and with the help of an almighty gust of wind they pelt themselves hard and deliberately at my face, shins and facial orifices. They have been training all Spring and  Summer, and they are ready now going, ‘Come on lads, this is it, NOW! Pelt her, pelt her, pelt her, that’s it! Now my turn weeeeeeeee ..plink, oh man, I only made a plink, I am a disgrace to the entire walnut army, a god, the shame...’ And well, this is how I imagine it goes anyway. I duck and defensively hold my arms over my head to protect myself from the walnut onslaught, kids and my friend, STILL laughing. Anyway, my mission is accomplished, and she is handed her kids back, figged up and mean. That’s a joke, I do love her to bits! (you know, in case she’s reading).

There’s obviously been something going on, as later on that evening, I manage to yank the whole fridge door off, by it’s hinges, smash a big pot of jam everywhere and clobber my funny bone whilst tackling the evening’s mopping. Which brings me onto another point, wtf is funny about it? Really? In real life, it just f*****g hurts.
The love of my life....(it is a picture of my husband FYI)

I am off to hang out with my man, we got in and did the *kids’ pyjamas, kids’ milk, kids’ teeth, kids’ bed, kids’ last wee, last drinks* whirlwind shift at 8.30 till 9pm (not bad going), after the whole hot afternoon till 8pm was spent on the beach.

Before I go, however, I would really like to know who found me (my blog) by typing in ‘Funny fat kid jumping’ in the search engine?? This world baffles me…

See you tomorrow,

Tamsyn x

Sunday, 21 August 2011

Thought for the Day. Week 11...

What to talk about? What to talk about…what to talk about….?

I could pick a million and one experiences from this week to draw on…I am sat here now, wondering which to use as my inspiration for today’s Thought For The Day…

I am back, I have made my decision (I think) and am focusing, this week, on loyalty…With that in mind, here is my Thought for The Day, which is, for me, very apt in its ‘sum up’ of this, fairly depressing too! But I am sure you can take what you need to and want to from it…

"Loyalty cannot be too liberally insisted upon. Altruism in nature remains an exception. It poses a puzzle, being in prima facie conflict with the survival of the fittest and most selfish."

PETER BIRKS, Privacy and Loyalty