Saturday, 18 June 2011

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my gorgeous, inside and out baby girl Lola..well, she's 6, but always my baby!

My big girl and her cake I made...
The cake...

And the kids!!!! at 6.30 this morning, after going to bed at 10.30 pm...what fun was had by all. NOTE TO SELF: never, ever, ever have another 'sleep over' as long as all of us live...

Friday, 17 June 2011

I’m not a vicious person…but....

I’m not a vicious person…but today, on the phone, being spoken to as rudely as I was, I wanted to barge into her office and kick her in. How aggressive?? But how necessary, considering. The French amuse and bemuse me. They seem to be a nation (disclaimer, I know there must be lots of you out there who are not going to fit into my following description, but who, at the same time, will see EXACTLY where I am coming from. Erhem, *and begins*) they are people who ‘follow orders’ they have SO many rules and regulations, you have to prove everything, 8 times over to 97 different enterprises, and even then it’s never sure you’ve done the correct thing. They are a nation of not looking outside the box, if they do not recognise something, then you’re f*ck*d, basically, and have to get official translations of English birth certificates, because, you know, it’s really hard to read the same numbers…AND then they even get my daughter’s date of birth wrong. According to them she was born 3 months after my other daughter, which is remarkable, not even I could do that! I mean come on, really.


Anyway, I was angry and feeling aggressive today. To top it all off, I have Mitzi who following another ear infection the other day, got so poorly she was being sick every hour for 48 hours, the medicine finally kicked in late this afternoon, and she kept a bit of food down at last, woohoo. As the Dr had warned if she was sick one more time, it would be on a drip at hospital. Not again. Please supoositories do your magic (ha ha, just read my typo back, and so leaving it!). So suffice to say, a day on 4-year-old daughter puking at hourly intervals, WHISLT my washing machine has decided to die on me, has been eventful. Alex actually took a hammer to the washing machine today. He destroyed it in frustration. Well, not exactly, he wasn’t stood there cursing the washing machine Basil Faulty styley, going ‘RIGHT, I’m giving you a count of three to work, 1…2…3 RIGHT! That’s it! I’m going to get my hammer and I am going to hit you SO hard, you’ll be sorry, don’t say I didn’t warn you….’ BANG! Not quite, I had to get my washing out, which had been in there since Thursday last. Hence the desperate measures and all.

Now, I don’t know how I have managed to do it…but I have fully trained Mitzi! Finally ground her down. I have gone from every time I ask her to do anything, her looking at me as though I had just ripped my own head off and asked her to eat in. Followed by ‘well, I can’t I’m…’ or ‘but I am just …’ (sound familiar?) I am now hearing (and bear in mind this has been going on for 2 weeks now, so it’s a milestone, ‘good behaviour for 2 weeks’ definitely goes alongside ‘First white female 13-year-old Prime Minister’. True that) she looks at me when I tell her something, and with out hesitating, smiles and goes ‘yes Mum’. Hey, other parents out there, you alright? I heard world wide thuds of parents fainting all over. It’s true. She is a little angel. I can’t remember how I did it, but I am bloody chuffed with myself. I DO have power..AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA *laughs meglamaniacally, runs out of breath, falls on floor, gets back up, carries on blogging* *phew*.

 Esmie has just been yelling ‘MUMMY!’ and alerting me to the fact (coz I hadn’t noticed) that ‘I’m crying up here’ but she is saying it in such an angry way, it’s just making me laugh. ‘I WANT A CUGGLE!’, ‘I’m STILL crying you know’. So there is at least one normal, naughty, rude, abusive, relentless LOUD child in our midst. Well, Ezza wouldn’t let us down, would she?! (Disclaimer: I love you Ez, and I love that you are not boring, and have a character, even if you do scare me).

It is a relatively stressful situation receiving a dead sheep. I still have not quite recovered-I have the reminder legs/chumps/neck etc staring at me and poking out at me in the freezer (I get in there and shut myself in sometimes to ‘get away’ for a bit, it’s f*****g freeeezing, but it’s quiet). The weekend after this, we are having our first sheep meal, a BBQ, we are going to cook it in the earth, ‘Hangi’ style (google it). As I have said before, although I am vegetarian, for me, if I don’t know you and you invite me round to eat, and you have cooked me meat, I will gratefully eat it. It’s worse ‘karma’ for me to be rude and offend you by not eating it out of my ‘principles’. You have gone to the effort, so I am grateful. You see? So, I will be having some lamb. I have to say, I am not looking forward to it, but it has to be done, like most things in life…well, at least once…??! 

See you tomorrow!

Tamsyn x

Thursday, 16 June 2011

It flies by...

It goes sooooooo quickly, the time. I feel a little pensive today, it really passes you by so fast, make the most of every second, as mental as they can be at times. Lola is 6 on Saturday, hence the melancholic mood...!

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

I’m done with cocks.

Our 15-year-old has left with Alex today to fly home. I know coz the fridge has stayed full for 15 minutes! My god, I am startled, where do they put it? I have seen more meat on a jockey’s whip. Ewww what a horrendous saying, that’s just hideous, last time I use it. Update: he missed his flight, and is back! Bye-bye fridge contents…!
The cheeky little 2...

Well suppository time tonight with a poorly Mitzi, who has an ear infection in her other ear, and has been being sick on and off all night and all day, was fun. The suppositories had been lift (I've turned into a South African talking) in a hot car,  and as they are vaseliney in texture, this was not a nice task. But half the job was done, and after washing my hands, again, I am off to cook.

Monty did not like Posh and Becks, despite my pleas, coz I think they’re cool. I actually made him cry I was so insistent, going ‘go on, let’s call them Posh and Beaks, go on, they’re great names…’ I reduced the poor sod to tears! So now on a guilt trip, the ducks have been renamed ‘Mickey’ and ‘Minnie’. Partly due to the fact we reckon one’s a dude, thank god the word for a male duck is less abusive a ‘Drake’, I’m done with cocks and partly due to the fact that Esmie is obsessed with Minnie Mouse. So Esmie is happy, and the kids decided on the names for Esmie’s sake, as she has not yet much contributed to the naming ceremonies in the house yet.

I am so getting this car....
And this one, for when the kids are naughty and the animals are pissing me off....

And this one for Alex, if he mops my floors for me tonight...!

These days I am reversing out the drive, avoiding a plethora of livestock-chickens, ducks, cats, dog, humans. Reversing scares me, it’s one of my phobias. I have ‘Reversing phobia’ and if that doesn’t exist, then it should, because I have it, I am living proof. It’s been brought on by circumstance, obviously, avoiding animals and kids/bikes/surfboards/the other car and the like. Talking of reversing-you’ll follow, keep with it…We have issues chez us. Night time issues, of a magnitude that Mother Theresa nor Super Nanny could endure. Esmie, how does one reverse behaviour? I have not yet braved the ‘Big girl bed’ thing with Ezza as we affectionately refer to her, well it makes us laugh, it’s like ‘Shazza’ no offense Shaz, but your name sucks…! So Ezza, she is climbing out of her cot and terrorising her sisters and brother. HELP! I am going to ‘Youtube’ Super Nanny, and see whether this can put paid to my misery. Nothing is working, and I need to write my blog, so I cannot sit up there putting her in her bed every 2 seconds…anyway, that’s by-the-by, I wanted to tell you, that tonight after school, Jeannot the bus driver-who gave us the whole dead sheep, salutes me, as he is a bit cross eyed, I never know whether he is looking at me or watching out to see if the bus is coming….So I am pretty sure it was me, and I gaily wave and rub my tummy in appreciative ‘thanks for the dead sheep’ gestures. I think he got it...? I do hope today, I am able to post up a blog, we’ve had internet issues too at our house, and I frustratingly couldn’t do anything yesterday. But panic ye not-I am back today! Hoorah. And I will see you tomorrow, internet temporamentalities taken into consideration…

Tamsyn x

Monday, 13 June 2011

I was grateful and all that, but my god, at the end of the day, I had just been handed a dead sheep.

look who we found in our bath this morning....

First of all, welcome to our world Daisy and Minnie! Our 2 new ducks! They swam around for ages in our massive paddling pool. And then Lola and Monty took them off to their bed in the garage. Hoorah! They are well cute, and I am convinced one of them is a male, although they reckon they’ve caught me 2 girls. Well, time will tell whether Daisy/Minnie are in fact Brendan/Barry. Oh, and the names are not certain yet…

Friday night, the school spectacle-the girls’ danced like boogy queens, and I nearly fell off the bench filming, I was unfortunately at the back, and had to stand on a bench to see, *damns self for being so small* and they are like Lilliputs doing twirls and boogying to French songs, but I filmed it nonetheless. Bravo me. And then after…OMG, I nearly died tressing girls’ hair. The queue was immense, and my heart sunk into my flip-flops when I saw it. The tressing was endless, I tressed like a Trojan on speed and did dozens and dozens. I check the clock, it’s 9.15 pm, I have been here literally for 2 and a half hours. I make my excuses, and die on the spot. Then I come back to life, realised I was being let off for good behaviour, and rounded up the 3 out of 4 kids, as Lola was going to be staying at her friend’s that night. I walk out to the car park, realising Alex had dropped me off, parked and come back. He had not told me where. But it was all alright-I see the car! We walk over the otherside of the car park, I go to open the door and put the kids in, and realise it’s locked. AHA! Our car, does not lock. This is not my car. I drag 3 hyper-tired kids back to the School, make a call on a friend’s phone to ask Alex where he parked. Miles away, that’s where. But at least I know, and off we trot.
The 'tresses'....that nearly killed their mother...
I am sat here sporadically going cross-eyed and whacking myself in the face-this effing fly is the cause, I’m honestly not normally like that when you meet me! Well, not often. Now, as I have been sitting here typing away, oh, and I haven’t even told you yet-my washing machine died on Thursday, honestly, with the life I lead, this is like my WORST nightmare. Not even funny. Alex took 15 loads to the laundrettes earlier on today. So tomorrow, I’m drying and folding ALL. DAY. LONG. So, bearing this in mind, I’ve been sat next to my dog, writing my blog, with him next to me on the freezer (err, freezer? No, I so didn’t mean to write that. I actually meant to say ‘sofa’ and thus re-join the ‘normal people’ world.). I cannot even bring myself to tell you what he has just done, it is THE most rank thing you can think of, no toilet business, just so you’re all clear I am not talking poo (yeah, yeah, funny, coz I normally do …) but what he has just done on my sofa, well, I am discussing burning techniques with Alex. He has ruined my weekend.
The kids run down to see Dad coming out of the surf...
My garage smells like an abattoir, my fridge like vampires have been nesting in there, and I feel violated. 9.40 am, Saturday morning there’s a knock at the door, I am in the shower as I was expecting the knock at 10, in my house every second counts. It’s the bus driver, his wife and gorgeous little adopted son and one MAHOOSIVE dead sheep, in plastic. Thank yous and kisses and tears ensued. Well, not the tears, I was grateful and all that, but my god, at the end of the day, I had just been handed a dead sheep.  It’ll feed us for a month, and the rest (well not if the 15-year-old who’s staying here with us stays…). It arrived, thankfully headless (don’t think I’ve ever said that before…), necessarily ‘hoofless’, and already gutted. Alex got his best mate Jamie Bennett up to help, and to bring a sharp knife-veggie household=blunt knives. Well who needs a sharp knife to cut up a lentil? So the deed was done, we have legs/necks/breast/chumps/loins/other bits I cannot remember the name’s of. I did draw a diagram for Alex before carving procedures ensued, I ‘Wikipediad’ ‘carving up a sheep’ and the diagram seemed self explanatory enough. The music was blaring, and I kept doing the finger in the ears thing saying ‘I can’t hear it, I can’t hear it, I can’t hear it’ in vein attempts to drown out the hacking saw through bone noises, and cracking sounds. Too rank.

On a brighter note, we have our friends’ son’s 1st birthday party tomorrow afternoon, weather is to be sunny, and the kids will be caked up, coked up (the fizzy pop coked up, she hastily adds) and played out. So hopefully they’ll sleep in…?

You can but wish….See you Tuesday!

Tamsyn x

Sunday, 12 June 2011

Thought for the Day. Week 2

Hello, and welcome! So you’re back for more of my Thoughts for the Day….Are you all sitting comfortably? Good, then I’ll begin. This is one of my MOST favourite quotes of all time, it is from again, one of my most favourite authors of all time too, J.R.R Tolkien. In Lord of the Rings Gandalf the Grey replies to Frodo:

Frodo: "I wish none of this had happened." Gandalf: "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

Well, I know what it means to me, and I will leave you to reflect on it, and do your homework…!

Have a peaceful Sunday,

Tamsyn x