Friday, 8 July 2011

Superb. I love nuts.


‘Enterpub father’ was just the security code I had to enter. How random’s that? I reckon, in real life there is a teeny weeny lil dude at the other end of the computer screen, in a little cabin, going ‘Hmmmmmmm, security code hey? Let’s see, 'entermum rest', nope, 'enterkids parent scarper', nah, got it! Enterpub, father…that’ll do, how witty am I? ‘ere Derek guess what security code I just came up with?...’ well, that’s what I reckon at any rate. Gosh, typing this tonight is an intensive reminder of how sore my hand is. I have hand ache. Big time. It is strange, and hand achey…maybe you’ll be in for a pleasant surprise, and I won’t be able to type that much today.
Exactly what I look like when I blog....
The dentist went fine today- he crowned me, actually, I should think first before writing things like this…here comes a disclaimer, I have a crowned tooth, I can now eat nuts! Superb. I love nuts. Talking of nuts, I got so fed up with Esmie getting in and out of bed on a free for all rampage across the bedroom, landing and stairs. At my tether’s end (I own many tethers, I collect them) I threatened to put her back in her baby bed (well, put the sides back on to be precise). And how was I going to do this? I had no clue where the nuts were, and god only knows which child ate the alan key? Short of gnawing on, with my own teeth, some make shift nuts that I fashioned with my gnashers…well I couldn’t ‘follow through’ could i? first rule of parenting isn’t it? Never ever threaten a child with something you cannot follow through with…i.e. never threaten them with, ‘If you touch ANYTHING in this shop, I shall call the police…’ Because, As if? Or ‘Do not walk in that puddle, I will make you lick your shoes clean…’ because, again, as if? Anyway, I digress, I tell her that’s it, and I ABSOLUTELY /HAVE to follow through with it. Luckily we have kept one side of the bed on, against the wall side, so I thought fast, I am sharp, you know, and I do it! I follow through! I flip her bed round, and she is, once again, caged. She is sound asleep. Tomorrow I will sit it out, I have been mentally preparing myself all week long, and tomorrow is judgement night. ..I shall keep you intermittently posted.

Thankfully, this was not my Dentist...I would have FREAKED!!
Yesterday, and today it has rained. As I result, we curled up together on the sofa and put a DVD on to watch, Esmie claims she wants to watch the one with the lion in, I have no idea what she means, but we try a few, and finally I realise what she’s on about, you know at the beginning of films sometimes there’s that scary ass lion that roars so loudly and scares the living sh*t out of you? Yeah? Well, Esmie LOVES this lion…! She did not watch any of the DVD, preferring to sit on my knee, making me draw her spiders, lions, butterflies and socks. My fortes.


Esmie had to see the Dr today, she has a bad nose infection after the shoving the (which you can read about here) ball seedy thing up her nose with such gusto, we were in A and E a few weeks ago all Saturday night. I’ve had better Saturday nights out. Well, maybe not since I had the kids…! On my way out, with more antibiotics, and an appointment to see the ENT specialist to get an X-Ray to see if there’s another one up there. Good God. Imagine? Anyway, we’ll see. So, I am on my way back and I see an elderly couple looking all helpless and banging at the door of the local Post Office (the ‘nooooo, don’t go in there’ Post Office, there’s a woman in there who actually eats people, it’s true as well), I pull over and tell them it shut at 5, it was 5.04, there is no way in God’s good earth and planet that the French would be still open. The lady is distraught and runs over to me, she is in tears as she tells me they’re on holiday, they tried to get money out the machine, it said it had gone through, got the receipt, and no money. I park the car and get out, and offer to go in to the shop opposite to see if they could track someone down. At that moment, God was smiling on the couple (well, kinda, bit of a twisted smile, given the circumstances) and the lady from the Post Office, who sometimes eats people, comes out. The lady ran over to her, then turned to me and blew me a huge kiss, waving, saying thank you. I was genuinely very touched. It made me think that not everyone would stop, not that I am saying I did anything phenomenal, I only stopped to tell them the Post Office was shut after all!

On that note, I am signing off…till the morro!

Tamsyn x

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

*turn away polite people* (no one turns away)...

Oooof, I have just come back in from doing exercise in the rain, I figured, to be honest, exercise was better than sitting weeping on the sofa. I am a bit like that each time of month, so I have started counter attack procedures. Since the kids are a bit bigger, and more ‘self sufficient’ I have become more aware that I exist. So therefore, eating well, and exercising (occasionally) are imperative! So there you go, just thought I’d share that with you.
Get me, really testing myself...I did skip too, I will have you know, and roly polied, and did a medicine ball work out too, so I impressed me!
So far the hols have been BIG FAT BRILLIANT FUN! We’ve had nice weather (despite the little outburst of rain, which was fairly random actually), been out and about, and even the boring chores going to appointments and the like went smoothly-I had to pop round to a friend’s to drop something off, and then was running on to a few other places to drop forms in etc-she offered to keep the big 2 whilst I ran errands with the little 2..I know! Someone actually offered to look after my kids! I quickly rifle through her documents, and find out a ‘certified sane’ certificate, and all is well. She’s not mental, she is just kind…! So I set off, and it was a bloody lot easier I can tell ya! I had everything achieved in a reasonable amount of time, taking away the tractor following, chugging away ignorantly to the next farm field to plough, streams and streams of cars backed up round down to Spain. Why do they do it? It makes me ANGRY! Pull over you mental farmer dude, can you not see the world chaos you’re creating here behind your rusty trailer going at 8 MPH, DOWNHILL???? *turn away polite people* (no one turns away) F*ck*ng country life b*ll*cks…
See, here's the evidence, they're even taught it in 'etiquette in  driving a tractor school'
Esmie was just stood before me, having been pottering around her bedroom for the last ½ hour, re-dressed. With ‘clocky shoes’ on. Can somebody please tell my child that bed time is that, not dress up time, not running around time, lifting everything and throwing over everything that I have not yet nailed to the floor…it’s BED TIME!!! I know I should sit up there, put her back in her bed, shhhhhhhsning and not saying anything. But that requires tolerance, patience, and valuable evening, kids are in bed time. Where I write my blog, to please you lot. You see? I am a martyr, I do it all for you! So get your asses over here, and sit on the top of the stairs doing the shhhhhushing and replacing please. Thank you. We have a caravan FYI, so you can sleep out in the wild garden, and be woken up by nature, in the form of boccings and quack, flap at dawn flappings, if you want to…? Have a think.

The pond in the garden is coming on, we painted a sign saying ‘Duck Pond’ with a rainbow and stuff, which was the best ever, coz they got paint on the grass (who cares, it mows…) and then jumped straight in the swimming pool to wash after, as they painted in their pants! This, from now on, and from here on in, forever more shall be how painting is done chez us…so the sign’s nearly finished, and I am painting a little white picket fence to go round it! I want donkey gnomes FYI. I was looking at the pond, 4 lil ducks flapping aboot, thinking I’d like to get some fish to go in there too. Then after a while of thinking, the thought process began at 11 am, and was not fully terminated in full till around 8 pm, when the kids went to bed. I realised, getting fish would be like an ‘all you can eat’ buffet for the 3 cats….even Lola’s birthday sleepover was probably a better idea than that!

After a chocolate cake making sesh...BATH!
Right, I’m off to make a pair of trousers into shorts, and have a bath, I need it, I did my ironing in the garden, iron on extension lead, in my bikini today! It was hot, to be fair, so I multi-tasked, and bronzed at the same time as ironing, is there no limit to my skills? It's to be hot tomorrow too, Get in!

See you tomorrow,

Tamsyn x

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

quick pic...

Monty at his school trip 'Accrobranch'. Bunch o' monkeys amusing themselves, wicked fun, if a little exhausting with the whole 'effort' of being sociable with 50 7-year-old kids...watching out for their lives....it was full on.


Monty...weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Well done son!

Monday, 4 July 2011

I run outside, but it’s too late. .....

Friday was…emotional, my word! To say the least. I found out the class Lola would be in, and she is in the class of the teacher I do not like much, due to the fact she hardly speaks instructions to the kids, she prefers to scream them at them all the time. Lola is a very sensitive little thing, and I am worried that it’ll upset her and inhibit her…She has also been put in a class not with her 2 best friends, they have been best friends for the last 3 years, inseparable, and she is not with them. Tonight, she’s gone to bed in tears, which has made me cry, because at the end of the school year, when I am so conscious of time flying by, she cuddles me sobbing going ‘I don’t want to go to big school mummy, I want to stay at my school, and with my Maitre, I’m scared…’ I kept strong (I was a gibbering wreck inside), reassuring her of everything, then broke down on the way down the stairs like a Robin Reliant after 15 miles…a mess I was…My baby, now on her way to bigger school. My boy a few steps away from joining a boy band ;) (please see earlier blog to appreciate humour), my 3rd going into her last year at little school, and my last, starting school. It’s all too much.  *busies herself with Time Machine building activities*

Lola about to blow out her candles at school with her Maitre...
This evening was proceeded with the school outing for Monty, which I was accompanying. Why do I keep doing it?? I nearly gave myself a hernia in semi squatting position, hovering beneath children balancing precariously on ropes from trees, attaching, detaching hooks, flying down things, wobbling frantically, although they were hooked on, I couldn’t help myself but run round underneath them all giving instruction and holding my arms up reassuringly ‘in case they fell’…exhausting it was…I am still not sure if I survived. And then, after we spent the morning doing that, we went on a walk after pic-niccing-which reminds me, I only went and left the effing things at home…after all that.

Minnie is out in the garden having a big flap. Giant flaps, if truth be known. They are loving the fact they can fly a bit now, and show off, flapping vigorously to demonstrate. Hold on, that reminds me *runs off to make Gynaechologist appointment* . Well no, she does like having big flaps, this is true, but I made the Gyno appointment up for laughs. Moving on, I have duck wing clippings to tackle this week. They shall flap no more. Well, they can flap, but they cannot fly, otherwise they’d be off and we’d be sad, and plus, I think they like it here now. They fully *get* that one does not have to sit an interview and display all signs of normality across the board. We are who we are, and just are, here. So their acceptance was swift, although I think they’re the most normal of us all, apart from giant flaps issues…


Unfortunately, late last night, there was an incident chez us. I did not get round to wing clipping swiftly enough it seems...It’s about 11 pm, and the window’s open, we’re watching the fight between Haye and Klitschko..No really, we were! See, 9 years, and I have been finally ground down, I am sat there dutiful wifey watching a fight! Anyhoo, there’s a few big flaps and a quack quack quackety quack outside the window- the road side. Oh God, a duck’s p*ss*d off. I run outside, but it’s too late. I have not yet ‘Youtubed’ ‘How to clip wings of ducks and other animals’ and thus, the not yet clipped wings, can still flap and fly away…Mickey was gone. Minnie was devastated, and still so, hanging her head in sadness all day today. So I set off down the road to my friend’s to get another duck. I have come home with 3 more! So, get this, I managed to convince my kids to use the names I wanted originally, well, I bribed them with chocolate, did ‘super sad face’ and told them it was so unfair they never wanted my names, if truth be known. But I don’t care, coz I got MY WAY! And we now have Minnie, Daisy (getting less mousified, and more duckified, goodo) and, *druuuum roll* Posh and Beaks (I am too funny). Yey for overruling your own kids! Score, MUMMY! Anyway, they were all reunited, and Minnie heard their quacks coming from the car, ran out of her little pond, quacking madly, to greet them…It was TOOO cute! (they are all sisters in fact)

Wooooooaaaa you is scarey....
There’s bells and all kinds going off upstairs. Talking of beating (in a winning way) your kids, this is not the case with Ezza. Yes, it is gone well passed bedtime, yes the midnight wanderer is still at loose aboot this hoose, and I want her to GO TO BED!!! I am off, first proper day of the hols tomorrow-and loads of errands to run…BOOOO. Oh well, I am sure I’ll live to tell the tale!


See you all tomorrow,

Tamsyn x

Sunday, 3 July 2011

Thought for the Day. Week 4...here 'tis


You're back! For another installment of my 'Thought for the Day'...wasn't the last one good enough?? Well, wthout further ado, I present today's...Today it's a quote from the Bible, and it goes, like this:
"In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you..."                                                                                             Matthew 7:12

To me, this is an invaluable quote. It evokes compassion and sympathy-two powerful emotions that would go along way if practiced by every last one of us...

Have a good week, see you tomorrow,
Tamsyn x