Friday, 8 July 2011

Superb. I love nuts.

‘Enterpub father’ was just the security code I had to enter. How random’s that? I reckon, in real life there is a teeny weeny lil dude at the other end of the computer screen, in a little cabin, going ‘Hmmmmmmm, security code hey? Let’s see, 'entermum rest', nope, 'enterkids parent scarper', nah, got it! Enterpub, father…that’ll do, how witty am I? ‘ere Derek guess what security code I just came up with?...’ well, that’s what I reckon at any rate. Gosh, typing this tonight is an intensive reminder of how sore my hand is. I have hand ache. Big time. It is strange, and hand achey…maybe you’ll be in for a pleasant surprise, and I won’t be able to type that much today.
Exactly what I look like when I blog....
The dentist went fine today- he crowned me, actually, I should think first before writing things like this…here comes a disclaimer, I have a crowned tooth, I can now eat nuts! Superb. I love nuts. Talking of nuts, I got so fed up with Esmie getting in and out of bed on a free for all rampage across the bedroom, landing and stairs. At my tether’s end (I own many tethers, I collect them) I threatened to put her back in her baby bed (well, put the sides back on to be precise). And how was I going to do this? I had no clue where the nuts were, and god only knows which child ate the alan key? Short of gnawing on, with my own teeth, some make shift nuts that I fashioned with my gnashers…well I couldn’t ‘follow through’ could i? first rule of parenting isn’t it? Never ever threaten a child with something you cannot follow through with…i.e. never threaten them with, ‘If you touch ANYTHING in this shop, I shall call the police…’ Because, As if? Or ‘Do not walk in that puddle, I will make you lick your shoes clean…’ because, again, as if? Anyway, I digress, I tell her that’s it, and I ABSOLUTELY /HAVE to follow through with it. Luckily we have kept one side of the bed on, against the wall side, so I thought fast, I am sharp, you know, and I do it! I follow through! I flip her bed round, and she is, once again, caged. She is sound asleep. Tomorrow I will sit it out, I have been mentally preparing myself all week long, and tomorrow is judgement night. ..I shall keep you intermittently posted.

Thankfully, this was not my Dentist...I would have FREAKED!!
Yesterday, and today it has rained. As I result, we curled up together on the sofa and put a DVD on to watch, Esmie claims she wants to watch the one with the lion in, I have no idea what she means, but we try a few, and finally I realise what she’s on about, you know at the beginning of films sometimes there’s that scary ass lion that roars so loudly and scares the living sh*t out of you? Yeah? Well, Esmie LOVES this lion…! She did not watch any of the DVD, preferring to sit on my knee, making me draw her spiders, lions, butterflies and socks. My fortes.

Esmie had to see the Dr today, she has a bad nose infection after the shoving the (which you can read about here) ball seedy thing up her nose with such gusto, we were in A and E a few weeks ago all Saturday night. I’ve had better Saturday nights out. Well, maybe not since I had the kids…! On my way out, with more antibiotics, and an appointment to see the ENT specialist to get an X-Ray to see if there’s another one up there. Good God. Imagine? Anyway, we’ll see. So, I am on my way back and I see an elderly couple looking all helpless and banging at the door of the local Post Office (the ‘nooooo, don’t go in there’ Post Office, there’s a woman in there who actually eats people, it’s true as well), I pull over and tell them it shut at 5, it was 5.04, there is no way in God’s good earth and planet that the French would be still open. The lady is distraught and runs over to me, she is in tears as she tells me they’re on holiday, they tried to get money out the machine, it said it had gone through, got the receipt, and no money. I park the car and get out, and offer to go in to the shop opposite to see if they could track someone down. At that moment, God was smiling on the couple (well, kinda, bit of a twisted smile, given the circumstances) and the lady from the Post Office, who sometimes eats people, comes out. The lady ran over to her, then turned to me and blew me a huge kiss, waving, saying thank you. I was genuinely very touched. It made me think that not everyone would stop, not that I am saying I did anything phenomenal, I only stopped to tell them the Post Office was shut after all!

On that note, I am signing off…till the morro!

Tamsyn x

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