Time management skills, bollocks to them!

When Esmie woke up this morning, she had no idea what was going on, despite her efforts, her eyes were still shut, she was just crying, pointing at her little eyes saying “Look!” scrunching her nose up and pulling all manner of strange faces to try and dislodge the gunk, thus freeing her eyes……..I bathed them and we were on our way,  Doctor bound, after first dropping 3 out of 4 kids off at school.

The doctor is his usual fab self, sorts everything out, heals the sick, gives back the sight to the visually impaired….that sort of thing. Not true stories, but you get the idea how efficient he is! Which is why I drive to St Jean de Luz for every appointment, 25 minutes on the motorway from us, but it’s worth it. Except today, I had a fleeting arrangement with ‘Makeup Lady’ that I would try and take her later on in the week (ie Thursday), although weeks are like dominos, more and more sh*t goes down as the week picks up speed, and there is consequently more piled up at the end of the week, than the start. Or maybe that’s just me? I do try and utilise “Time Management” skills, but fail miserably. For example earlier on I had in my head “Time management, Tamsyn, use your time management skills, go on…” And so begin attempts to put skills into practice. So there I was, on a roll, I put the kettle on first, as by the time that had boiled I would have finished the veg chopping, then I can add that to the stew, clearing up as I go, wiping arses, sweeping raisins up, giving out cuddles, nursing bobos, playing “who am I” (still trying to find myself….!!), making cups of tea, putting washes on, well you get the pic. But then something inevitably happens that restricts me from doing what I need to be focusing my intentions on and I lose it, completely lose it. My head spins, there are usually cats mewing at me, children’s voices (hundreds of them), dogs at my feet, chickens (that are so getting stewed if they don’t start laying soon) pecking at windows……Time management skills, bollocks to them, they’re for those woman who can work and have a family, I am not one of those….! And I am not ashamed at being incompetent! Anyway, I was talking about Makeup Lady. On the way back from the Doctor’s I am redirected. Now this for me, I live in sheer dread of being redirected. Is going to be of HUGE consequence…..and sure enough, it is. I am diverted, one junction too early, off the motorway and down to a place where I have never been before. Well if truth be known, I probably have been there umpteen times before, but I get so hopelessly lost all the time. I have no sense of direction what so ever, and if you blind folded in my own house, spun me round a few times and told me to find my own toilet, I am not sure that I would ever successfully arrive there. In all sincerity, my orientation skills suck. Unfair, but I have to deal with it frequently. I was passed on to roads/roundabouts/ there were cones EVERYWHERE. It looked like someone had sat the coneman down, asked him earnestly to place as many cones as he possibly could, with no necessity to organise them, just put out as many as physically possible…..Willy nilly they were strewn. White knuckles gripping on to the steering wheel sucking myself in, as the road where these cones were, was barely wide enough for me to skate down, let alone drive. I get hopelessly lost, as I knew I would, 45 minutes later I am panicking as I still don’t see anything familiar, although I think now I recognise this cone layout……the Coneman was trying to recreate a rabbit, I think, from this angle. When I see the light….a sign to Bayonne (15 minutes form me) so I follow it, and get stuck behind Barry brum brum in his electric car. Why bother? O.k, for the environment I see his point, but what, does it just run off triple A batteries or what? What makes them so pants? Here’s where Makeup lady comes in, thought I’d forgotten in my ramblings didn’t you?! I am supposed to be taking her shopping. In all this, my desperate bid to get home, I am this stressed because well 1) because I am lost in France, and 2) because I have a date with Makeup Lady. How does that work?! Oh well, when the internet comes back on (so intermittent it is very frustrating) I shall ring her, explain, and I guess, try and do it another day. Sorry Lady…….