Wednesday, 15 December 2010

I have actually been sucking the bogeys out of my 2 ½-year-old’s nose....

I still have no idea quite how I did it, but as we have more eggs than we know what to do with (unfortunately not because my girls are performing, although bravo Margo for her 3 (even though she managed to squish one, it still counts!)), grabbing a load for scrambled eggs for breakfast, on walking through the door to the kitchen, I managed to squish a whole egg all over me. Quick change of clothes (although I frequently leave the house covered in pooh, be it animal/ human/Shrek’s (true story) I drew the line at a whole egg), a whole squished egg down my front was just not the best look, and I am ready and on “Take Two” of the day at just 7am this morning.

I am thankful that I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel, as the prescribed medicine treatments are now nearly at an end. I have actually been sucking the bogeys out of my 2 ½-year-old’s nose. In all honesty, the device the Doctor gave me for extracting the bogeys out of children’s noses, you have never before seen such a piece of equipment. I enthusiastically held the right bit up Esmie’s nostril, and began to do my sucking duties through the other connected end. You suck, the bogeys run out screaming, and you are supposed to stop sucking as you see the bogeys fill up the chamber, before you inhale them……. How rank?? I did it somewhat halfheartedly, and I have to say I am struggling to use the contraption, as every time I suck, I begin to bork uncontrollably! It’s not been all that successful, and I am sure Esmie is as freaked out by the whole thing as I am, I mean what on earth must she be understanding from this act by her mother? I tower over her, put something up her nose, sucking through a contraption, and then start nearly puking in her face! I hope she will not be scarred for life!

I managed to get my ironing done today, which is never a small feat. However as I was ironing, folding the ironed items, placing them in named piles, I notice they are not all that “Pressed” looking. I carry on regardless, and then after a good 7 items realize I had forgotten to plug the iron in. There is nothing worse, I can assure you. I had finally, finally got round to tackling the Everest, and I had to double iron. It just makes so much more work when you are actually stupid enough to not realize you have not yet plugged the iron in.

My other 3 chickens have not laid me one single egg, and I am going to have to have talks…….However I am not too sure I would be able to cope with them all if they all behave as Margo has started to since having her eggs. She wanders round like a lunatic. Today I was on my way out, finally out, after the egg squishing scenario, I open the car door and she gaily hops in, not a care in the world, and shuffles over to sit on Lola’s lap. I shoo her out, she is not giving up that easily however, and hurls herself back in the car boccing and pecking me and flapping her wings so fast (you ever tried to catch a chicken?? They flap in the most almighty manner), that she flaps me in the eye and I now have a sore red eye, feathers all over me and I stink of chicken. Bring on the school run and the mother who takes drugs (see earlier blog!) and stinks of chickens and goes out filthy looking, real “coper” that mother of four……!

Maybe it is best that my chickens stay egg-less, I think it would be the end of me if four of them did this to me every morning. I have now put my car seat pillow in Margo’s house, well I’m not sitting on it anymore, she laid an egg on it! Now to wrap some presents, hoover, mop, fold 3 loads of washing, bring the 8th last drinks up to kids still bleating, then sit down…and collate! well, evenings are for chilling....!

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