Thursday, 17 April 2014

Dear Alex, I Promise.

Dear Alex,

Talking to you here, writing to you, is my only means of communicating with you in a deeper sense than trying to understand what you are saying to me, or chatting about the kids to you, telling you things. I can't confide in you, nor gain your advice, that side of my Alex, of you, has gone.

It honestly is the side I miss the most, that side of a relationship, being able to chat in depth about things, the kids and their lives, elements of life that I could do with your advice on…I was very dependent on you before for this, only turning to you for counsel.

Yesterday, was the hardest of days I have seen in a very long while.

Our ten year Wedding Anniversary. There is something so significant about a decade.

I wondered to myself on the way to see you what you may have done for me were you as you once had been. I think you would have whisked me away somewhere for a night or two. Spoiled me rotten!

You would have written me a letter, you wrote to me often.

Instead I write to you, only I write to the you that I once had.

To the you I married.

The you who is gone.

I cherished the afternoon we spent together. You were in a beautiful mood and would not let go of me, kissing me and telling me you love me. I describe our Wedding to you, what you wore, who was there, and how I promised you today the same as I promised you the day we married.

We shed a few tears together, although you don't know that you were ever any different, and certainly have no recollection of our Wedding.

Through it all Alex, I will love you, I will be there, I will comfort you and take care of you.

I promise.

Me xxxxxxxxxxx

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