Wednesday, 19 March 2014

Dear Friends, From Me to You x

To our dear friends,

You all as individuals are inspiring, strong and wonderful people.

I do not tell you I appreciate you enough.

I do, I really do, it's just that...

I need to shrink away, just for a while, just till I feel like my bubbles are back, that I am able to function again.

I ramble, I drift off mid sentence.

I am aware I am like this, I am sorry.

I am embarrassed actually.

But be patient with me,

I am struggling.

I don't necessarily want to talk about it.

There's not anything I haven't already talked about, or things that haven't already been said,

Sometimes I just need to sit with this.

It might unleash a monster in me of resentment and bitterness, and that monster doesn't need to be unleashed, I just need to get myself under control a bit again, feel gratitude warm my core, from outside  in, then I will be able to hang out again.

I will try and find excuses, not because I don't want to be with you, but I just don't feel I can at the moment.

I don't want to feel like this,

So I want to shut myself away till it has gone away again and my smile is not so fake.

I do make a real effort, but in all honesty, I cannot even really be bothered to do that at the moment!

I just have this need to hide.

So I am sorry and thank you for being patient with me.

From your friend,

Tamsyn xxxx

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