Saturday, 22 March 2014

Dear Alex, Three Days.

Look at my babies!!! This was years ago! 2008...

Dear Alex,

Three days, and counting.

Three, nearly four days, and the only thing you have done is shout at me, cry, throw the phone, scream, not listen…

Three days or more, I lose count because it feels like forever. Three days of reliving  'those words' , because when you are in this place, it is having that Dr say to me over and over

"Madame WOOD on attend pas qu'il va souvivre…chaque heure - meme un demi heure, compte…je regrette vous dire, mais on attends qu'il va mourir…'

I heard those words.

'We don't think it likely that he will live, we don't expect him to survive."

Of my best friend, my soul mate, my everything, I heard this, that

"you would not be here.'

I didn't believe it, I thought you would be, that's why, even after they told me the worst, I carried on writing these letters, for  you to read when you woke up… Only it didn't happen like that, it didn't happen how I expected, how I begged, pleaded, prayed.

You haven't come back.

I take each day step-by-step, I take each step, day-by-day.

I think I still wait.

I think I still wait in denial.

I think I still wait for my best friend who will return, wrap me up in his long awaiting arms.

I think I still wait for you…

You do not come.

But my angel, I STILL wait,


Never giving up,


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