Dear Alex, Steadying myself.
New Year's resolutions to uphold, and it all starts when the kids go back to school tomorrow. The holidays have been a tonic, a wonderful time spent seeing family, friends and time away with the kids, just me, them and friends. THeir smiles, their giggles, their late nights and too much chocolate and spoiling them rotten and how I shall miss their faces when they are back at school tomorrow.
Betsie we picked up on Thursday, a 5 hour drive away. She didn't greet us, nor bark, nor move when we picked her up, but the lady who we got her from assured us she was just timid. Arriving back late, she again, did not move. slumped, breathing quickly and I didn't know whether this was normal or a dog distressed or something to be very concerned about. After a couple of trips to the vets and a high temperature but no known cause discovered, the antibiotics have kicked in. She is gentle soul, in need of love, and lots of it. She is starting to explore, but only a few metres from her bed. She has also started to whimper when the kids go into a different room, waging her tail when they come back to her... It is amazing to see the difference and we love her already.
I feel so positive about this New year. ALthough my position is no different to last year, the many blessings and achievements I am allowing myself to absorb.
Like a brick in water, place it in a bucket of water and just the outside will be wet. But leave it in there and the water will soak in-this is what I plan to do with love and gratitude and letting everything go.
I cannot grow if I do not focus just on the day in front of me. So I will focus myself each day at a time and fill my day with moments of gratitude and thanks and praise.
Dog walking, Yoga, visiting friends and friends visiting now we are so settled.
And I am determined to let go of emotional things that have crippled me for so long. Though this is the hardest of all the things I have set myself to do, I am stubborn and determined so have the will!
I think this will be the year for you too Alex, to excel in all you put your mind to. The difference from even a week or so ago when you ring me, to today when I spoke to you. Your voice clear, your understanding and the way you put things was just a bit different, I cannot put my finger on it, but it was you expressing things with a bit more insight. And I had a glow inside me...
This year your glow inside you will take over and healing is in store for you this year, I feel it.
I start the year feeling good, positive and will deal with things as they happen to me level headed and walk slowly through them, not trying to avoid or crash through them, just steady myself.