Wednesday, 8 January 2014
Dear Alex, Shock news!
Drinking in light, noticing it everywhere I can, I am making 'light' and 'healing' these words as my mantra and focus through all this year. Through the dark times, the distressing moments, through bad news or good, just focussing and adjusting my mind and eyes to this.
Tonight I look out at rainy skies, peachy clouds in between the layers of grey and rain-and this is an affirmation to me, seeking light through all, whether it shines and blazes or glimmers gently and faint, I am there with it.
My friend hands to me a while ago a meditation/prayer book. I finally opened it today. The focus for January is 'light'! And I know I am on the right track...
At 8am amidst the 'mum, where are my shoes?' 'Have you got water and fruit?' 'Well, quickly, quick, do your homework now, you've got 7 minutes...!' and Betsie the puppy weeing on the floors and mopping and finding a 'pair' of socks and book bags and knee high in porridge and weetabix spilt and downing a luke warm mug of tea, I receive a phone call from the Care Home you are in. There has been a cancellation in the Exeter Centre for Re-enablement and you are off today!
This is exciting, nerve-racking, I don't think you understand enough yet what all this entails... So I picture you, your preparation and envisage healing light around you and pray to the Most High to carry you through this.
Through 8 phone calls from you since you arrived at 4 o'clock, your distress and wailing and not listening to me, I start to slip down the path of distress and despair for you. So I stop, deliberately, sit on the edge of my bed, hands in front of me and I pray. I focus that light, shining bright and silver and white surrounding you, it lifts me and it is all I can do.
I pray for your healing, your sight to return everyday, but I want to change the way I pray and meditate, I want to see it as happening, not a desperate begging of uncertainty. I want to visualise what I want for you and send it to you in my physical absence.
I am about to ring and speak to the night duty nurse and see if you have been able to settle, and oh God, please let him settle, please let this be a success, you have 4 weeks there, and if you do well, maybe even more...you need to adjust so quickly to make this work. This IS possible with strength being sent to you and peace form the Most High.
I pray for this my angel...2014, this is YOUR year, I am certain of this.
I will see you tomorrow, it's an hour and 15 minutes to get to you, so I cannot stay long, but I will be there, I promise...
Posted by Manic Mum at 21:04