June 2nd 2013
You're unsettled, calling me constantly.. But being there isn't enough... Pulling shouting, crying out, shouting still...
I watch you as you sleep, finally quiet.
You sleep pretty well at night.
Then from the minute you wake till the minute 8pm comes and you start the nighttime routine, you cry.
I can suggest nothing.
I cannot do anything. A few hours distracted by family on Friday. Then they leave, you start up again, crying and calling for me.
You've said a few things as I try patiently, calmly to unveil the reason you could be this way:
You said you thought you were dying.
You constantly ask me to marry you and start a family with you.
When I say yes you tell anyone who will listen we are getting married, till you forget and start asking me to marry you again.
Are you stuck somewhere in your mind? Before we got together and married and had kids? Are you afraid of losing me? Why are you seemingly often better when I am not there? You tell me if we have a baby it will 'make you better'. I'm not sure if you believe this, or if it's something random stuck in your mind?
I'm just not sure, but there's a piece missing. I'm at my wits end, I have nowhere to go, no options, no answers... Why can't I fix this??
You sleep now, it's quiet, but I know my wake up call at 6am will be your calling for me and crying at the top of your voice. It wakes me and the kids.
How do I solve this riddle?