Once you have had kids…..NOTHING is sacred anymore.....

I flick out the crumbs (many kids awake in night = much munchies consumed for midnight energy), the cornflakes and a few pens/tissues/a piece of puzzle, the spider runs out on his own accord, he must have forewarned the daddy longlegs too, as he takes flight, 6 long skinny legs pedaling desperately to takeoff, all from under my sheets……this is my usual ‘flick covers back and SWEEEEEEP’ routine which I have had to adopt every night before climbing into bed ever since having kids. As, once you have had kids…..NOTHING is sacred anymore, not your best clothes, they get puked on and end up as rags, best shoes, they get used as dressing up ‘princess’ shoes (yep they were that posh…..!). Your body tries to recreate the world map with stretch marks……it becomes a training ground for seeing how far it can stretch itself, without going pop! But without ever going back again either…………your walls become canvases, waiting for child graffiti practice sessions, your head becomes filled with little voices (no, not the ones you respond to…….well, maybe some of them are actually!), and your voice becomes mute. There are many, many changes, which no one prepares you for, and then it’s far, far too late………..! But you know what? I would not change one single element, well, the voices in my head get a little much sometimes, especially when they start singing Kylie Minogue……But they (kids) honestly are the most fun, amazing little beings that we have the privilege of calling our own. I am lucky in that mine are still in that ‘we love you sooooooo much mummy’ stage! They are too young to know any better at the mo, but I have no doubt they shall learn! When Monty learned the other day that one day he would move out, find a girl, settle down etc etc, his lil eyes filled up with tears, his bottom lip trembling, he can hardly speak when he says;  ‘but I want to stay here, with you mum, forever’ ahhhhhhhhhh bless him! If only that were to be true forever too!

I have been extremely lucky to have been able to be a ‘stay at home’ mum for 7 years now (‘my god!’ Alex exclaims in the background, lazy cow!) But now that Esmie is 2 -and god they can eat- Monty’s words the other day exemplify this fact: ‘I am soooooo hungry mum, I could eat a rhinoceros….” This was after they had just finished a chicken stew I had done them with croutons, fresh bread I had just baked, a natural yoghurt with raisins and shared a pineapple between them. My point being is that I now need to find a way of bringing in some pennies too!! So as from next year, with my French C.V done, I am job hunting (if the chickens let me out the gate…….).

That was the last time I shall cook my kids chicken. Although Alex and I are veggie, for me, and I hasten to add that this is the way I have chosen to do it, as every one has their own opinions/own realities, I felt meat and especially fish were vey important for a child’s development, so they eat meat and fish. I also decided that not wanting to force something on them, be it only vegetarianism, I realise there’s probably worse things! If/when they make a decision one day to not continue eating meat, then so be it. I believe it is for them decide, not for me to force the decision on them…….lecture over! Anyway, my point was that that was the last time I cooked them chicken because now that we have chickens, Monty and Lola have told me they cannot bear to eat chicken anymore, they have made the connection between that which is on their plate, and that which is pecking around, boccing, and being sung about in Gnarles Barkley songs, outside…!!! So, chicken is off the menu in our house! I am still waiting for eggs…….so the chickens may not survive yet if they carry on withholding their eggs…..maybe they are on some kind of protest? I shall never know, as they can’t speak. And I shall just have to keep on waiting, and trying to converse with them in ‘boc’ language to encourage them to do what they are supposed to be doing….LAYING BLOODY EGGS…………