Monday, 7 April 2014

Dear Alex, The Man that Made me, Me.

Dear Alex,

Nearly our Anniversary, our 10 year Wedding Anniversary.

Our married life was cut so short.

I haven't much revisited the early years we were together. Although of late I find my mind trying to drift back to the comfort of those early years.

The before kids' years (though that was only 18 months in truth!).

The days of long walks in the woods with first just our dog, Oliver, whom I still miss every single day. Walks with then one child, then a second, a third then a fourth added to our brigade.

Walks went from being on the beach in the North of England to the shores of South West France. You pushed me, told me 'of course you have it in you!' 'Think of the life for the kids, the experience..' And despite being desperately scared, we packed up a few suitcases, Mitzi's, who was 6-weeks-old at the time, cot and got rid of all our earthly possessions! Heading for France with 3 under 3's!

You made me, me, Alex.

You saw things in me I didn't realise I had, saw strengths and aptitudes and you drew these out of me.

Made me change my ideas, not follow routine, throw everything I thought I knew and loved aside and head for another country. To discover life's richest gift- it is not where you are, it is who you are with, and I have loved everywhere, because I am with you and our babies.

All these things we did together has formed the part of me, although I will always struggle to, that can adapt swiftly, look directly past the moment and head in different directions.

You have helped me to cope.

Honed me, without even knowing, but being for me the person and soul I was always destined to meet and be with.

And as I approach the Wedding Anniversary which is next week, I will be approaching it with remembering the things you gave me.

Thank you my husband,

I love you always,

me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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