Dear Alex, Chats.

After school on the beach… x

Dear Alex,


Holidays and now these are Easter days, and building memory days and I have begun without a voice and having lost my bank card…One, easily resolved as a wonderful friend lends me money to tide me over, the other, a little trickier… She cannot lend me her voice!

They are full of excitement, the kids, for the holidays, and for the first time ever, since you had the accident, for seeing you.

The emotion, the heights of emotion this sends me to, I have not experienced before.

The thought, the knowledge that they actually want to see you has not been something I have been lucky enough to hold before.

And yet they do, they want to see you, the enthuse, especially Monty.

We have the pre-holiday chat, the one where I tell them the things they can anticipate, things we can expect to work on- maybe things I have picked up on during the term, and things we can genuinely look forward to, and also what they would like to do, and how we can make that possible…

The 'Holiday' chat.

The, 'yet another chat without their daddy' chat

The, 'chat not involving my husband' chat

The 'not involving their daddy' chat

The chats I always have to have without you.

The 'where are you, Alex?' chats

So I focus unabated hope on what might be, what may be to come, for our kids..the hope they would want me to give them.


Kids,

Kids need the truth.

They need optimism, hope, faith, something to work with.

If you do not give this to them

Who will?

In amongst reality, I need to offer them the truth with hope.




And I too, need to heed this.




Me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx