Monday, 21 October 2013
Dear Alex, Old Faithful...
Old faithful, man's best friend, soppiest thing who has brought me to some of my best and very good friends. People stop in the street, you draw people, such is your humble, loving, gentle nature...
Old faithful who sat and followed around each newborn for 3 days each time, just watching, never leaving them out of your sight, guarding, protecting, loving in a way you as a dog could.
And our time is running out together. Maybe a few weeks. It is a tumour and they cannot operate. It is too close to the brain.
And tears have streamed endlessly all day, as I remember the great times, how Oliver came into my life 2 months before I met the love of my life- you Alex. Oliver has accompanined me every inch of way. Never left my side. Pined for you whilst you were first gone, and then jumped in the car every time I visitied you after that. Gave you a hero's welcome when you had your first visit home.
And I will have to make the decision alone, be alone as I leave the vets without my old faithful, my Oliver. No you Alex to be by my side, to comfort me, hearts aching together for the loss of our most faithful friend.
As you hear the news, your face crumples, 'I will miss him SO much' you say, so clearly. Oliver sits on your lap and you cry into his wet, rained on stinking fur! You have also remembered it, want to speak to your parents again tonight to tell them how sad you are, you have remembered.
I cannot think about the inevitable, I will not let him suffer, not you Oliver, not for one minute, I will make sure you go before that, in my arms, cuddled and wrapped up in love, and scatter your ashes on the beach-your favourite place to be.
You're a dog who has been described as stupid beyond stupid, but highly emotionally intelligent! Maybe now we have come full circle, we are all back together as a family, in the place we will always be, it is his time to go...
But for me, there will never be the right time to not have his presence.
The dishwasher, the washing machine broke beyond repair as well today, and I feel winded. Sore.
My old faithful, my best friend, thank you for the time, the comfort and support you have been, all the way through these past 12-and-a-half years.
Posted by Manic Mum at 21:13