A house slowly emptying of treasures, possessions from this life. No meaning, except the objects made by our four beautiful souls, no monetary value, simply rich in memories and filled deeply with love, crafted by those I adore, those I cherish, those who are gifts from God.
I spend the evenings gradually packing, having moved many times I know the unfortunate score!
Even though we are moving for our future, the last move, I cannot help but feel melancholy. I pack up items you've never seen, I pack up a life you haven't lived with us in 2 years. I pack up a stage in our lives. The reality of what I have been doing threatens to make me wobble a bit, only I can't, of course, not now, I have a house to pack!
Having read through all your letters down at the beach where you always used to surf in France, I came across a few I kept to one side. Your advice, your love for me, which I know, if you were able to speak to me as eloquently as this, you would be saying the same:
" My angel, I am the proud and lucky man fortunate enough to meet a girl who promised a dream, a dream that has been returned tenfold.
You are the soulmate for me to depend upon, the mother to my children, the mother that through her own love and commitment has raised the four most wonderful children in the world.
You are my muse.
You have inspired my true self to force itself to the surface...
The adventures we have enjoyed together, good and bad, fill me with excitement, excitement to watch our family grow and you flourish.
In you I have found the happiness and peace I have been looking for.
You give me courage to take on what the future holds.
In life, there is ultimately just love that counts, and you are just that to me, my love..."
Your words, your writings, your letters to me. What treasure, what pure gold these letters are.
And so as I pack, I think, a great deal. I never thought I'd be strong enough to run this arduous race, never thought I'd be strong enough to keep running it at such a pace, I never thought I would ever in a million years cope with out you as you once were. I never thought I'd ever be strong enough to sleep in a bed without you.
I wish I hadn't had to be this strong, I wish I could have run the race of this life with your arms around me, continually, endlessly wrapped around me.
You too are just that, just love, to me.