Tuesday, 18 June 2013

Dear Lola, Eight years old today!

18th June 2013

Dear Lola,

EIGHT! Eight years old, and my wonderful angel how you grow.

Stars twinkle in your eyes when they look at me, I love how you still love to hold me tight, hold my hand every time we are out.

The Most High has blessed me to be responsible for a child like you, so loving and giving, so generous of heart.

The path you walk as a child is an unusual one, no dad around as such, a mum who sometimes gets very upset and cries. you are always there to give me a hug, ask me gently in your inimitable childlike way 'what's up?' As I explain that sometimes it's just the way things are, sometimes I miss your daddy lots and lots and lots, you cuddle me more and my tears I wipe, thank you for making me feel better with a cuddle.

I am immensely proud of you, Lola Grace, for who you are, who you are becoming and your naive love that fills me with a new inspired way of looking at things more simply, accepting life through a child's eyes such as yours. you teach me, and I learn from you, just the essence of your character and person, and you do not even know it.

Your patience, acceptance and understanding of dad, the way you are with him is incredible. I am in awe of your innocence and I am sorry I am so complex, that life as you grow becomes more complex. Inexplicable things happen, inexplicable sadness that I draw myself through. But the fact I have you, your sisters and your brother has saved me from sinking ever, too low, too far.

Because above all else, I am your mum. I will always remain steadfast and I will always cherish you.

Thank you for teaching me things through your love and devotion. A child like you I am blessed to behold.

And now you even make me a cup of tea and bring it to me in the morning! A dream come true for me! SOmeone to bring me tea- and you know what? I never even asked, you just thought of me and one day brought me a cup of tea up in bed. This is how much you think of others without doing it for their gratitude, it just pleases you, speaking volumes of who you are.

Your love of making things, of all things art. Of cooking, playing and looking after others.

Your love of nurturing things, whether it be snails, worms, a hedgehog, you cherish nurturing and with this as an instinct, you will flourish at all you do.

Don't ever be beaten, someone such as you is a shining light to those around.

You will no doubt come across situations in life you can do nothing about, frustrations, sadness. But hold that beautiful blue eyed, blond haired head up of yours, take a deep breath and know who you are Lola,

Someone others will look up to, someone who will always look out for others over and above their self.

You are strong, although I don't know that you know that. But through what you have already gone through, still go through, you are strong, independent and one of life's angels without knowing it.

You're one of my four angels who carry me on child's angel wings.

I am so proud, and watching you grow is a dream come true for me.

I promise to be there for you, whenever you need me.

I promise to be there to carry, help and hold.

I promise to say 'I'm sorry' Even if I do not know what I have done, I will respect you always enough to listen.

Don't change, not even your sometimes intolerant stubbornness!

Keep being strong, keep that big heart full of what it is full of now- love, tenderness, compassion and simple joy.

I love you Lola Grace to the moon and round it and sky high and back again, and I DO love you more than you love me!!

So much love, forever,

Happy Birthday tchoupinette!

Your mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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