18th June 2013
After horrendous reports on how you had been in the morning, I was expecting you at your worst again. Nobody had been able to come near you to get you out of bed. You hand is swollen and purple, your elbow and your foot and ankle too... You literally, from head to foot, are covered in signs of your trying to escape this hellish nightmare that is so very real.
And dear God I pray for peace as I feel you are desperately trying to make sense of it all.
You're in bed calm and resting when I arrive. I curl up beside you and kiss you, nusling into your arm, my cheek against yours and you smile your amazing smile.
... Like a huge round boulder in its form, I see darkness, but above it and through it pockets of bright silver light stream and it penetrates most powerfully through the dusty darkness, darkness seems to dissolve as I focus on the light, I watch the darkness and realise if I focus on that, the light fades, so I focus again on the light which continues to banish the dark, dissolving it as though its nothing but dust. The bright light has almost dissolved all the darkness, and it feels like a healing cleansing, pure light. Then I look to the left, a bright royal blue peacock, the most majestic and beautiful peacock glides past, I watch it and am aware of how in awe of it I am. Wondering what it is? What it represents, it feels like a king.
Someone knocks on the door and I realise we have been asleep almost 2 hours!
I feel the explanation for my dream needs to be researched, knowing it meant something. I think the light is divine light, light from the Most High, and if I continue to focus on this, it will dissolve our troubles, our anguish like dust, but if I focus solely on the dark, it overwhelms... The peacock represents majesty, often peacocks are seen in original nativity scenes, and it was a message to say the Most High is very real and very involved in this. That He is present and I have to follow...
Peacocks' feathers (of which the kids just the other week found several on the street a few weeks ago, there are no peacocks around here!) represent new life as the old feathers fall out every year and new more brilliant, beautiful ones replace them each year, a sign of renewal, which is a word the peacock symbolises.
So that word patience arises very profoundly again.
To see you as calm and happy as you were when I came in was a surprise and a relief.
My dream was dreamed as I was in your arms, and was an extremely relevant one...
Let's just keep holding out, hoping this is just a phase as I continue to pray for peace for you and acceptance, so that you may move forward.