16 th April 2013
Nine years ago today I had been up since 3am with a crying grizzly 5-month-old Monty. I spend the morning trying to placate him and not be worried about the fact we were to be married that day and I'd be tired and miserable! I wasn't, I was more alive than ever I had been. In fact since the first day we met I have felt life, love, and the love I have always had from you has been selfless and steadfast.
You gave me a confidence I had never had, such agape love had I never felt.
You scooped me up and never set me down.
My angel, I am so so sorry this has happened to you I have had to learn to live with a heart broken in two.
I have lived, breathed, hankered after sought after, struggled for the same hopes and dreams as you for the last 11 years.
Now you cannot communicate any, if you are even capable of thinking them.
I have to think and act for us both now, and my God I miss you honey.
The hopes and dreams we had for the family for our growing kids.
How I would watch you fathering the kids, giving them advice or playing with them.
I used to smile and think how amazing you would be as a dad of teenagers when they need help and guidance. How I love how you would lead them by example and talk to them about life and love and values and priorities.
And now, they struggle to understand the simplest of sentences you speak...
Now, you cannot see them even to go to them and comfort them if you notice an 'I need a daddy cuddle' look...
We were married in Whitby registry office! We couldn't afford a big wedding so married just the two of us, Monty, our parents and your best mate.
I trembled as I walked down the aisle, saw you and couldn't hold it together. My beautiful blue eyed man stood, head turned watching me. I breathe, steady myself enough to carry on down the aisle. Then in our vows, we look into each others souls and declare that no matter what happens in Life we will be by each others side... In sickness and in health... Till death do us part.
And we are doing just that.
How I love you my angel, my knight in shining armour, till death do us part...
Happy wedding anniversary to my best friend, soul mate and love of my life. Keep dreaming, keep getting stronger my angel, we still have a life full of love and adventure together...
I love you