Friday, 18 January 2013

Dear Alex, The most amazing news!

Chill and thrills, snow angels, crunch of fresh laid snow. Breath and red cheeked fresh faced 'wow, mum, LOOK!' as snow is flung air bound, flakes fly... And this, these, very moments are the moments I live for. Innocence of child's glee, delight, at snow! Magical, breathing smiles into each passer by braving the cold, as I pull them two at a time on the one sledge we have through the snow.

I spent 40 minutes making the 5 minutes of the usual journey, I skid, nearly into someone, and I know, a weight thuds, I can't make it in to see you. I plummet. How can I not see you? Get my daily fix of you?

So I ring, 'Alex, it's your wife on the phone'...

'Oh, hello wife!'

And I laugh out loud! It was clear what you said! We speak, although I don't get most of what you say, our conversation lasts a good 15 minutes! And I finish the phone call happy, smiling! You are ok, apparently in amazing spirits! No need to worry.. And so do you know what baby? I honestly spend so much time missing you, feeling I am not getting it right or should be doing more or could be doing something different, that you being ok frees me.

School shuts at 12, I pick them up and skid home with them, thinking you are ok today, it's a gift! A guilt free day! To play and be with the kids! No two hour commute.

I love I live I enjoy I revel even, in the moment and what an amazing day!

I am refreshed, I am pleased I got to hang out with the kids unexpectedly on a school day like this. It was like a mini snow break today! A holiday! And I have felt like I could do with a bit of one of those recently!

I hope the snow stops now though... I need to be able to get in to see you...

Oh, and each time I phoned you today I got to tell you ( as you have no memory now) that I have had One of THE biggest victories this week... You get to come home every weekend!!! ALL weekend!!

Now that is something positive to end the week on!

Love you babe,

Me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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