Dear Alex, My Christmas present.

January 2012.




December 21st 2012




Dear Alex,

Simple things are the most saturating and nourishing of the soul... I love watching our kids sleep, and as we all sleep in the same room, I sometimes sit in bed watching them, their chests slowly heaving up and down breathing, eyes flicker from time to time, dreaming of a big day had and the fact it's 4 sleeps till Christmas! Sighs and flips and arms that stretch and mouths that press together then relax.

I get you sleeping here in 4 sleeps! That's my Christmas present! And the silly thing is, for the first time
In years, I feel that tingle of excitement like a child, and a smile inside as I know what's coming...

You weren't with us last Christmas, in fact we were all still in france, you were still in a deep coma and I could only visit you for an hour in the ICU... I made it through the day, it was strange, on my own with the kids. Your mum and dad were there but did the other shift to see you. I remember finally getting the kids in bed. I'd been strong most of the day, I'd videod the kids opening their presents for you to listen to. I made it through Christmas day, not knowing if you would...With the kids finally in bed, I walked out of the house, sat in the cold Winter air and cried till I was sick.

So this Christmas is pure joy, sheer delight and wealth, you at home, at home! And for a night! I'm sure I'll lose it to stress and a houseful and a carer and over excited kids and trying to cook Christmas lunch before Boxing day and wishing it was like it always used to be... BUT, I am so blessed and so lucky to have what I have now.

What an amazing Christmas it will be!

The Christmas I never thought I'd see, a Christmas with my whole family sleeping together under one roof for the first time in 15 months! Praise the Most High!

Me xxxxxxxxxxx

Comments

  1. What wonderful news for you all, i wish you so much happiness for this Christmas and continued strength for 2013. You're an amazing lady, mummy and wife x x x

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  2. Happy Christmas to you and all your family. I have just started reading your blog and am so moved and inspired by your words. I hope you have a truly magical time together and that 2013 is a great year for you all. Best wishes.

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