Monday, 31 December 2012

Dear Alex, Goodbye to 2012!

31st December 2012

Dear Alex,

What a year 2012 has been...

It began with you starting to wake from
The coma you'd been in since the beginning of October 2011. It's ended with you sleeping for the first time in our home!

It's been a year of hopes and tremendous despairs.

I still have no idea how I can smile whilst harbouring loss and grief and heartache at the same time...

A year of learning, myriad lessons! Of striving, completing, opening and being defeated...

Of learning to let others in, accepting the offers of help with humility and gratitude.

Of reaching limits, but having to continue and break through them nonetheless!

A year of triumphs, you got up and walked, heavily aided, but that was never meant to be!

A year of set backs, still in the nursing home, still no home for me, you and the kids to be a family together.

A year where I've had my faith tested, I've reached out to the Most High, He's been there, heard my cries, even though sometimes it's taken a while for me to look back and see.

I've learned to fight, and that I am a fighter...and I'll continue!

I've learned to be still in the chaos and love and love more and despite and wherever and however, just love and love all the more...

...That I have to be the strong one, no matter how weak or lonely at times I feel...

That friends, family, strangers from near far, that kindness is a strength, it gives strength and you have all kept me afloat...

And gratitude. For every tiny little thing. In everything, be grateful. In all I do, in all I have and all I am striving for. Be grateful.

I'm carrying this through for my New Year's resolution, see how far I can go with gratitude! See where it takes me...

The bliss in simplicity is what I think I have truly found, and how powerful love is...

May 2013 be an extraordinary year for everyone, health and happiness and peace to you all!


Tamsyn x

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