30th August 2012
After a very challenging, extremely tough day, I sat down to write to you, and wrote this instead…
My prayer to you, Most High, is this…
That in the depths I plunge, as this journey I never expected, rises and plummets,
That I always turn to you.
That Alex, you make him whole and well, that you breathe your love, comfort and healing into his inner-being and his soul.
May you equip him and fasten his armour for this battle whilst he’s weak.
That those who have been brought to me, you maintain and bless,
The proof that you provide, has me awestruck.
The people who don’t know what they do in however large or small, that they may know the role they play in supporting us is never less than inspiring and humbling.
That those who are there for me, who give their energy, their time, their love, they receive this ten-fold.
As the walls rise and I can see no way out,
As the grief restricts and I close in,
That you help me open my fearful eyes and widen my vision to the things I have.
For those involved who share in this grief, that you lift them up and comfort them in their sorrow.
For our children, so young, so small, that this builds them and does not damage,
That this creates compassionate, loving souls with truth and honesty,
That they are not sad and lonely and do not grow.
May I show them the strength I find in you, that to trust is hard, but that you do surmount the impossibilities.
May I not give in and shrink into the ‘why us?’ Seeking to blame, the resentment, the oppression this breathes…I seek to breathe only love.
May your strength guide me and may I remain faithful to you and true…
And that we grow, Lord, we blossom in you, through you, that others may see who you are…
AS I said earlier Alex, tomorrow is a new day, writing this one off, and buckling up for a better day tomorrow!