Sunday, 22 July 2012

Dear Alex, home visit number ONE...!

July 20th 2012

Dear Alex,

Words cannot begin to touch this morning. Thankfully I have the pictures and the memories and the feelings to carry with me for the rest of my life…

I see the car pull up, nervous, as I don’t know if I’ll keep it together, I walk down to you, your home coming! Well, a brief few hours. And I don’t, I don’t keep it together at all, I lost it when I walked out of the door to bring you in. Tears of pride, love, wishes, hopes, and joy.

The OT and the physio are there with you to push you in, up the ramp, and into the lounge, transferring you onto the sofa. Our sofa! Home. Shoes off, helmet off, the biggest grin I have ever seen anyone grin, which not for a second does it leave your or my face.

A presence so strong, pure love. Intense, healing, powerful. I ask the Most High that this may bless you in a new way, move you on the next step. That the power of this morning may engulf you and strengthen you. Focus you and aid you in your physical and mental journey. It’s like falling in love all over again, it’s like freedom or flying must feel like. It’s like surfing on clouds, like warmth and fresh coffee and an almighty achievement, well deserved! The mightiest achievement.

We are left alone for half an hour, and we cuddle, talk and bask in each other’s presence. That we are here, that you have made it this far, that I am so hopelessly in love with you that I don’t know what to do with myself when I am without you…and we are on the sofa in each other’s arms, just us, just together, just in love.

I didn’t want it to end. I stayed so strong as you pulled away. I had a long ‘moment’ when you’d gone. But not despair, not desperation, just longing and a renewed hope, that you can visit. That one day you won’t be just visiting, you’ll be here again.

How I long, I yearn for that day…

Oliver (the dog) is beside himself with excitement as you come in, he doesn’t know what to do with himself! You say very clearly, laughing ‘he stinks!’ and flap your right hand in front of your nose! Your humour is being revived. The pulse of your character strengthening, firing to the fore…it’s all coming. Time.

Wow, baby, what a morning. I truly was in heaven…I am so lucky, so blessed we still have a life together, even though it may not be the one we planned for or would have chosen…we are still together. Thank you God.

Me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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