Shearing his beard and dogs’ bits alike…

‘No, this time, that IS weird’, I reply to Alex, who has misplaced his clippers (he still has no idea of the multi-purpose they serve, shearing his beard and dogs’ bits alike…) He laughs a bit too ‘in my face’ ‘Weird?? No, it’s not weird, where have you ‘tidied’ them?’ Hmmmmm, good question, this time though, it really is weird, I have not touched them…honest.

No, this is not what you think it is.....

'Right!’ I bellow enthusiastically, play dough time, yeah! I woop a bit and fist pump it up, the little 2, almost as excited, Lola’s alright still with the activity, and Monty looks at me, raises one eyebrow and asks ‘really? Really? Mum? You mean for me?’ So it has happened-my first child who has grown out of the play dough phase. How depressing does it get? Last Summer I was suddenly flung, arms flailing, legs akimbo with the speed at which it happened, into ‘Mumdom’, long gone the ‘Mummydom’, it happens to us all. Time for the FIFTH! *hears the car wheel spinning out of drive as Alex leaves a ‘gone for good’ note*

Friday afternoon, the rain paused for a few hours, our good friends who we have not seen for 3 years, as they moved for a few years to Uganda, Dan and Carol Smith and Daisy and Solomon, and it was brilliant! The kids actually got to play outside together too, Alex wouldn’t let me keep their two, who are Gorgeous! Whilst we are outside, we see a deer! All too exciting for my nature loving son, who excitedly squeals that there are 4, 2 Bambis and 2 adults. They come at night to eat bread we leave out for them. Monty spots them, and endeavouring to let him do more things without me ‘surveying’ his every move-I tell him he can go into the field, sit there, with bread and wait for it to come…In reflection, I should have let them all do this, and had an afternoon off. As we have friends there, I can see him out of the corner of my eye, fine. I walk off to pick up a crying child/chicken/duck or something, and then come out and call Monty, who does not answer. Panic stricken, I dive into the field and call his name repeatedly. He had followed the deer and then gathered some apples off a tree in the neighbour’s orchard! He had been scrumping! Oooo, I’ll make some cider. At least he was fine, but there are some ‘deer watching guidelines’ to be closely followed in future. The fields are full of 2/3 metre high corn, and then it leads down to forest, so he could easily get lost, not to mention the road at the other side, and everyone who passes by…so I am not being too neurotic, you just never know, it only takes a millisecond, and a few more clichés…

The kids are abounding with pent up energy at the mo, due to rain and not much outdoor activity. There’s so much noise at the dinner table table tonight,  that I quip to Alex, that we should sell them. They protest, I say I’d sell them and buy myself loads of sweets, to which Lola comes back at me with ‘yeah, well we’d sneak back and eat all of them!’ Brilliant! But what a pity, that they’d find their way back…

With the ‘rents still here, desperately seeking to venture outdoors in France, my frantic prayers to ‘let the rain stop, please take pity on me as a mother, my sanity is letting up…’ were answered, the rain stopped for a record 1 and a half hours on Sunday. Wah hey! So we walked, and we walked and we walked, well in truth, every child took a bike, so 3 adults (my parents) and 4 kids and 4 bikes seemed almost a fair idea. Although in truth, after today’s experience, I shall never, ever be attempting this expedition again with any less than 5 million fully trained army soldiers accompanying us. I nearly killed my parents through stress, and as at one point my mum is storming ahead ‘checking the way’, holding onto her bad hip and halts everyone, screaming ‘CAR!’ in the loudest voice I have ever heard anyone ever shout, and I nearly keel over from a heart attack on the spot. I tell her this was a little frightening, could she maybe whisper it next time? She nearly made Mitzi cry too, it was so loud!

Raincoat...a 'Summer in France' essential...

Anyhow, the weather is black skies and more rain, and I am thoroughly p*ss*d off, we are are going to be going back to school 8 stone heavier at this rate, I have been doing some kind of baking everyday, (kid entertainment) which for kids is usually biscuits/cakes/pizzas…Somebody tell the rain to stop! I don’t want to be going back to school, 8 stone heavier, having suffered a nervous breakdown and pasty skinned!!

See you tomorrow,

Tamsyn x