Monday, 15 November 2010

no one likes to hear 2 year olds coming out with the ‘f’ word, however funny it may be in secret!

I messed up big time last night: whilst falling into bed, I set the alarm on my 'brick' (my phone’s nickname, in case u didn’t get it) for 4am. I have no idea how it happened, and I am still cursing myself. I busied myself, putting the porridge on (in magnanimous portions, 4 hungry kids, eat very much food), the bowls out, as usual, clearing up the cat pooh out of corners – I have to sniff it out, actually sniff it out – can you imagine at 4am I was actually on a cat pooh sniff-out trail?? Who else’d do it???! I was about to call the kids and hoover, holding my breath because the dog Driver we are looking after for a friend (a so-called friend) has spent the night shedding; I fear that were I to breathe, I would get a hairball stuck in my throat, or that the hairs will wedge themselves up my nose and I will school run it with black dog hairs hanging out my nose looking as though I forgot to pluck this morning. It is strange that the kids are not up before me....wondering why, I re-check the clock I couldn’t see at first this morning as my eyes were like the proverbial ‘wee holes in the snow’ at 4am. Omg! 4am? Well, 4.30 by now. I nearly weep, but don't, and crawl back into bed. I didn’t manage to get back to sleep again as I was panicking I would not hear the reset alarm at 6.30am……..

Early start, which for me is always difficult. I suppress the fishwife screaming to get out who wants nothing more than to ‘gggggrraaaaa’ in everyone’s general direction regardless of size/age/status. I manage - the 4 cups of tea keep me in a mellower place. Out of the door and to school via feeding chickens and letting them out of their house to freedom. I am almost used to the faint smell of chicken pooh that follows me round now, however I am unsure if everyone at school is.

Of late I have had to check myself for using vulgar language in front of the kids: no one likes to hear 2 year olds coming out with the ‘f’ word, however funny it may be in secret... maybe that’s just me? And nothing reminded me of this more than hearing Mitzi my 4 year old bellowing out of the back window “ slow down you wanker!” to a dude who decided it would be clever to overtake me in a built-up area around a corner. It was a fair comment, but somewhat wrong coming from a 4 year old. I repress a giggle and let her know that even if at times she hears mummy using words like that, mummy is naughty for using them, and shouldn’t. “So does daddy put you in time-out, then?” comes the response…….! Priceless!

The rain is still torrential, and Monty and Lola both now have holes in their fairly new wellies, due to over-wearage. I put plastic bags on their feet, despite their protests, and send them to school like it! Mean mummy, but I let them know that it is in fact the supermarket’s fault for not being open early enough. I hope I got away with it, and I hope they still like me…….I would definitely not like to have my kids not on my side, that would suck!!

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