Dear Alex, This week.
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| Baby Lola, little Monty...goat. |
30th
January 2013
Dear Alex,
I tap a little boy
pretending to sleep (just so his sisters would) on his shoulder ‘Come on!’ I
say, he looks up, wide smile, teddy-bear in arms, and tiptoes with me
downstairs. We snuggle up; it’s 8pm, on cord sofa and under throws, cushions
nested around us, a welcome change to plastic solid hard hospital chair.
We watch ‘Africa’ the
nature series narrated by David Attenborough. ‘Hey,’ Monty says, ‘Just realised
this is like Blue Planet, isn’t it?’
“Yes, that we used to watch
on a Friday night with Dad, remember?"
He didn’t speak, he
turned his head into me and squeezed my hand. Then he spoke ‘please don’t
remind me about how dad was before, mum’
It’s been a hard week
for the kids, and it’s only Wednesday! I noticed swelling around the skull
removed on your head Sunday. Panicking silently, to the point I nearly blacked
out (flash backs of times forgotten) I tell the nurse at the Home she should
call the emergency Dr, and I take the kids home, various people step up, look
after the kids between them, I can, at this point and knowing the kids are
safe, only think of you. Sweaty palms, hiccupping for breath, I drive the hour
back to you.
The Dr decides to send
you to Hospital, and we wait for the ambulance.
I spent 12 hours
there, slept for 1 ½ at a friends’ near by, then was straight back in for the
day till school pick-up, then I have after school clubs, Dr’s for poorly kids
and tea and bath and stories and homework and housework and bed…Then back in to see you after their bedtime. This has been my routine for these past few days. During the day
desperately trying to hunt down reasons and people to give me reasons as to why
this had happened.
Tonight, my body
aches! My whole being aches! There is unopened mail piled up on the shelf by the
door- I decide to plough through it. Amongst it a letter:
"Dear Mr Alex Wood, as you failed to attend your work
capability assessment interview, we will be coming to your home (where he
doesn't live) tomorrow between 11 and 4 to make sure you fully understand your
requirements ..." The job centre
…More nonsense to sort,
great!
I’m still pushing to find
out exactly why your brain swelled. I keep hearing ‘it’s just one of those
things’ I keep replying, ‘No, Dr. it quite clearly isn’t ‘one of those things’,
when was the last time your brain swelled up and popped out of your skull? It
never has, has it? No, so I want an answer please.’
You’re just tired, sleeping
mostly now. I leave you to sleep.
More fights, summoning
strength and energy from ...where? #TheMostHigh
Me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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