Monday, 17 September 2012

Dear alex, Stories at bedtime...

Our gorgeous niece and me at the wedding...

September 16th 2012

Dear Alex,

Mitzi wakes with earache, I dose her up on paracetamol and she asks what I am doing (it’s her turn in my bed) I tell her I am writing to you and she wanted to tell you some things as she puts it…that it’s nearly her birthday, that she’s having a party with her friends and that she loves you so so much…I will tell you all this tomorrow.

After the wedding on Friday and the weekend, there were a few things I needed to address. I needed, I saw, to dig in a little deeper in my trust, and in my belief that I am doing what is necessary. I realised that through this bit I have to carry you, and something in me has hardened in a good way since. I feel I conquered a heavy week and have come out stronger as a result of my resolutions. And boy I am set for the carrying!

I think you do need to see situations in the way they present themselves, and accept what it is you have to do in the light of it, accept it and move forward. And ‘carrying’ is my word of the week I think!

Today saw you tired, not up for a fight, not very responsive, just cuddling into me and loving me being there, but unresponsive and back to that phase for a bit I think.

So this week, again, I have been hit with another different phase in the recovery process. And you are very emotional too.

I manage to have a lovely bedtime with the kids, taking them up one at a time and reading separately with them. It’s lovely how even at nearly nine-years-old Monty goes ‘yes! Great!’ at the fact I am going to read him a story. They all snuggle into me as we read and it’s calm, and a world of imagination and cuddle time before lights out.

I know this is a short one tonight, but my goal is to be in bed before midnight, and have some research still to do for you…

I feel strong and well equipped this week, and I have no doubt that the amazing response from everyone last week has carried me, brought me strength when I needed it the most.

I hope this is a good week, you have a home visit on Friday which I am really looking forward to…

Sleep well my baby, and see you in the morning…

Me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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