Friday, 30 September 2011

I am glad we avoided calling our daughter ‘vagina’.

I knew I stank, but in reality it wasn’t my fault, it never is. I do not choose to stink, never deliberately so, but hanging out regularly with ducks, dogs, cats, chickens and kids tends to have that effect. Ok, the hairy pits were something else, but that can and was addressed. I have a very poorly duckling who I have carried around for most of the day, she can’t walk anymore for some reason. I love my ducklings like they’re my babies! So of course I was going to look after it, TLC for all that suffers I say, regardless who/what, whether it may be animal vegetable or mineral…well, carrying a broken washing machine around I have, to this date, not done, but who knows? Anyway, ducklings are cute, but stink, and the fact Posh weed all over me seconds before departure to pick up kids from school, was not my fault, no time to change, I stank of hot duckling, duckling p*** and in my haste on the way to pick the kids up, I screech to a halt in the carpark skidding up rubble, get me! I quickly run off to the recycling and end up dripping, well, cascading, gone off milk down my legs. Nothing to mop myself up with was an obstacle, I tried wiping it off with a bin liner I had in the car, but, as if? As if that’s any help, considering. So you know what I did? No, bet you don’t. Well, I keep *febreeze* in the car as the stinky car can get quite overwhelming at times too. I *febreezed* myself. Even my pits. I then hoped I wouldn’t have some mad allergic reaction after, and turn up at school stinking, wafting febreeze suspending my arms, unable to droop them due to a bad allergic reaction to self-febreezing.

Luckily, although it stung somewhat, it seems to have left no long lasting burns, set the hairy pits on fire or leave rashes or other symptoms. Lucky me. Although the smell of stale milk lingered and I felt hugely self conscious, waiting amongst my friends doing the ‘kissy kissy’ French thing as we await eagerly our little monsters.

Mitzi about a year old, making cakes...?

Mitzi had her Hello Kitty cake at school today, she was so excited, and the kids apparently loved it so much that the teacher did a drawing of it and then photocopied it for them all to colour in at home!! She was so proud bless her! I took Esmie to the park, just opposite Mitzi’s school later this afternoon, out in the playground I spot Mitzi and her class singing her ‘’appy berzdayz to yooooooooooo’ and clapping as she blows out the candles! It was lovely, Esmie cheered too. In fact, many things over here are called the same thing, but with a French accent, Spider man is Speeederrr man, Hello Kitty is ‘ello kitty, we all know the ‘the’ completely bypasses them, ‘ze’. My name has now no meaning any longer. I answer to ANYTHING. Anything, Tampzon, Timpsin, Timpzan, Tasmine, I even answered to Tampon once too, I just have lost the will to correct them. I tend to tell people I am called ‘Tam’ as they seem to be able to register and re-say this. In fact Esmie nearly got called ‘Ki Ki’ which THANK GOD we did not call her this as this means ‘front bottom’ in French. I am glad we avoided calling our daughter ‘vagina’.

Her cake!

My angel...

I drove Monty down to get his new football kit tonight, waiting on our tod for 20 minutes, before realising we were waiting at the wrong place. Spotting people giving out the new kits over in the distance was the clue. So Monty and I sprint off, me in fact piggy backing him all the way down and over yonder, he has bad blisters, bless! Anyway, that’s been my last few days, the in-laws have parted, back up to their mobile home, Monty has his new football kit, and is playing away on Saturday, so we are all going to watch him! Alex starts rugby training Friday night, so we’re becoming more balanced in the ‘Girls vs Boys’ activities in the house…

Baby Mitzi on mountain hike, which we did, cleverly, in flip flops...

Oh, before I go, I have to tell you that nits are doing their rounds at school at the moment, horrible little bastards. I have got pure lavender oil which I put a drop behind each ear each morning before they go to school. I forgot this morning, so with hasty good byes and love yous and kibses, I then yell after each child, ‘Oh, and don’t put your head near ANY OTHER child’s…’. Because they'll definitely think to not do that... luckily they have (hang on, let me just touch myself, in a purely platonic way, my name is Wood, after all (handy)) not caught the little buggers yet, and did not arrive home with heads leaping and plinging around with joyous nits, revolting unnecessary creatures. Eeewwww, they’re SO rank.

See you tomorrow,

Tamsyn x *thinks she sees a nit plinging, FREAKS OUT*

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