Monday, 15 July 2013

Dear Alex, Tangible Memories.

15th July 2013

Dear Alex,

Musical skies play silent outstretched notes, clouds conduct the beauty of the evening concert.

I sit, my lap top, lavender tea, kids tired heads, red cheeked and dreaming. 

Today was the end of an era. Every end has its purpose, its future and its sadness. The kids have left their school. Their final day today, in France we will be tomorrow at this time, with old friends, with kids that ours grew up with, till one day a bolt of lightning struck and we had to suddenly leave our dream.

The children have so loved their school, teachers have nurtured above and beyond their call of duty and greatly helped each and every one of our young-exploring-life-souls to flourish. They have grown in confidence in ways which have meant my job as their mummy has been made an easier task! I shall miss so very greatly the school and all that it brought us.

Now that we are moving I feel like where we are now has been a heaven sent, timely stop-gap, until we seek out our new adventure. A place I will miss always, the people I will miss and always remember.

An old friend of yours whom I hadn't been able to contact since your accident, but who I knew desperately I wanted to inform, only I couldn't remember her surname! Finally found us the other day. I receive an email and she has only just learned what had happened to you. She worked with you many moons ago, knew an Alex I didn't meet! The funny thing is, we spoke for ages, and she lives five minutes away from where you are! She is a God send, will visit you often whilst I am away, and for me I can leave far more peacefully knowing there's someone you can reconnect with, who will be an energy from an Alex years will be nourishing for you and for me I am far more at peace with leaving you...

So it's to the airport tomorrow with four excited kids. It's back down memory lane for me as I will be flung back into our once lived dream. Tangible memories, ghosts of who we used to be. For as long as I am here, I am safe from the tangible, provocative memories...I hope I will cope. 

But then again, I think it's about time I confronted a few of those vivid, stifled memories of you, of us, of our whole family from before it was snatched from us...

Alex, how I will miss you...


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