|Yeah baby!!! Little ripples....|
21st October 2012
There’s an acceptance going on I feel at the moment, within the kids and around you. They are far less agitated coming in to see you, not dreading it, not crying on the way in, not sulking and lashing out at each other. Monty engages with you, playing ball with you, throwing it to you, and you back at him. And whilst he does this I notice several small but significant improvements in you.
You ‘look’ for Monty, ask for him, ‘is he OK?’ you ask me. You ask about others. Therefore showing you’re capable of thinking through a thought process, and coherently following it through further by saying out loud what it was. I also notice that your ball throwing technique has vastly improved! You have had difficulty with the instruction ‘let go’ and throwing the ball wasn’t very possible, taking so many attempts to let go and throw it, the message just couldn’t seem to get through from you brain to your hand. But today it’s on the first attempt, Monty asks you to throw it, and you do, every time, immediately.
I am noticing subtle but incredible improvements. It feels as though the re-wiring is gently refusing, you’re regaining some vital mental skills. I’ve been getting you to drink your own drink all week. All too easy to give it to you, unable to grip very well or see where the cup is, and then navigate it to your mouth. But all week, several times a day we’ve done this. My harsh sense of humour has you tutting at me and making a fist and laughing! I tell you if you don’t do it yourself, you’re going thirsty! So I help guide your hand, and make you place it back down on the table, orientating you making you hold your head straight, release the cup, all these little things I usually let you get away with! I gave you 9 ½ out of 10 for your attempt today, it’s got SO much better! And Lola gave you 12 out of 12, to which you stuck your tongue out at me, Lola laughing has you reach out and cuddle her, kissing her head telling her you love her, and that I am mean!
We seem to be having little happy family moments, with you engaging, you talking. I make them come up to you to ask you permission for things, rather than you hearing ‘mummy, can I…?’ All the time, I want you to be at the back end of child-requests too! You to hear ‘daddy, can I…?’ So that you will feel needed as a dad, it’ll remind you what you need to keep working for, to come back to. There is method in my madness, you know!
We spend the whole afternoon with you, and when we have to leave, you call them all, each one, one-by-one, by their name and say ‘by Monty/Lola/Mitzi/Esmie, I love you’ to each of them in turn!
This is another first, a very significant one, you are noticing people and responding so well, instigating a bit of conversation, not just answering things. This is HUGE improvement, honey.
My toothache is roaring, the kids are fast asleep. I miss you tonight, but can distract myself and look forward to tomorrow morning, when I get to be with you again. I can look forward to little improvements, and as my sky in the week showed me- little ripples, make big waves…
Love you babes,