Dear Alex, there is a time to look back, and a time to refocus...
23rd June
2012
 |
| Baby Esmie, outside her first house in France...... |
Dear Alex,
A leaflet dropped
through the door today, I glance at the title
‘ there is a time to look back and a time to refocus'
After this week, it
feels like this message is for me. I am trying hard to put back on my
refocusing gear, ready for this next week…sometimes words come out of nowhere,
and yes, sometimes they are coincidences and aimed very much at your life. This
leaflet was simply that. A word for the week.
To say you were on
form today is an understatement! As soon as those kids of ours leaped on you in
bed, you were trying to talk, some things clear, some things, really not! We
are allowed to make you double cream consistency drinks when you want them, and
your meals have progressed from just yoghurt to pureed whatever is going!
Although when I ask you what you had had at lunch you say ‘don’t remember’ I
say ‘well, was it rank or alright?’ you reply ‘it’s always tasty!’ so this
speech was audible and coherent enough to understand the principle that you are
enjoying your new freedom in eating portions of pureed meals three times a day…
The kids and I made
you an angel delight drink-your favourite! They mix and shake and Mitzi helps
you drink it. You keep saying ‘more!’ and puckering your lips reaching them out
for tastes of strawberry angel delight, you drain the whole cup, and find it
hilarious that I say I have to finish up the rest in the shaker cup, reaching
out for it, but me refusing to let you have it ‘it’s all mine now’ I joke…
Your laugh has
changed, it sounds more like your old laugh, Lola commented on this.
Even Monty let you
cuddle him for ages today, your head buried into him, planting kisses on his
cheek. Although I struggle to watch these moments…
We have to accept this
for what it is. Not pushing for the unattainable, but pushing for more little
progress, forcing those steps, which we will be able to look behind and see
that we have been stepping forward…
This is all I will
write tonight, just stopping at the positives. There’s time to reflect, and
time to just focus on the positive, and tonight is one of those letters.
Progress, food, laughs.
Good night my angel,
I will see you
tomorrow, thank you for the laughter today.
Me xxxxxxxxxxxx
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