Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Dear Alex, Reason # 377...

Reason 377:  Nurturing cuddles with my distraught girl who can't get her pony tail right!

Walking around, getting on with life, mourning a life, a happiness, a path, a best friend, a protector and being SO aware that our little souls of joy-our kids, we as parents have just one chance to get their childhood right, to get the rhythm of their inner beings right, it's a responsibility and a half!

How, how in this life full of haste, ingratitude on such a level we feel justified in wanting or feel have the right to, do we achieve this?

It's funny, when I first moved back to England, everything I saw, I saw in a negative light-I hated the place I was in, unfamiliar, grey rainy England, no mountains, no eagles to watch! flat country side, road kill because there's too many of us on the roads... I resented all, I just wanted my life as I knew it back...

Then I realised, I was being wrung dry by the practice of basic ingratitude, determinedly closing my eyes to what I really did have.

I decided to take charge! I tried changing my vision, externally, to tilt the looking glass, and how I saw things from within...

I started literally 'counting my blessings'...naming them, not allowing myself out of bed (still don't) until I had found 5 things to be grateful and thankful for.

Whether it be sticky hand prints on the mirror- they grow so fast, I won't be cleaaning these off forever.

Whether it be the porridge they've made a mountain out of on the middle of the carpeted floor- thankful for their imagination, sense of adventure, fun, that I have porridge in the cupboard (well not any more!) for them to play with, a hoover!

It starts freefalling, blessings are everything we have, and as we chose to open our eyes to them, the world grows, we grow...

Now on my Birthday I was given a book- It is this:

And reading it affirmed the path I was on, it gave me a reason deeper for doing what I was doing, and it has changed my life.

The mourning and grief I feel is laced with thanks and gratitude and JOY for what I do have...Who'd have thought I could smile a real smile under the circumstances? But I do, and plenty...

The challenge is to get to 1000 gifts, hence the title! I have put up my 377th reason above, and I carry on, determined to get to 1000 and beyond!

I SO recommend this book...

disclaimer: I was not paid for doing this post.

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