Dear Alex, I Promise...

15th November 2012

Dear Alex,

Quorn tikka masala, microwaved and done. I finally sit, and drum the keys...Time to think, time to write, time to eat...It’s all finished now at the O.C.E, your last sleep there and then to Amersham to a care home with rehabilitation tomorrow.  The end of intensive reeducation, but the Home is comfortable, the staff friendly and good at what they do. .. If only I could have you home…

I await a house; I just know you need to be home. I know too it will be a huge adjustment, nothing will really prepare me for it, I’ll just have to do my best. You wake in the night; I’ll have to be there to comfort you. You get distressed at times in the day, you’ll need comfort, changing, help, rest, stimulation…I promise I would try so hard to get it right.

We will certainly need to adjust, adapt. For the moment, as the staff are keen to support you having overnight stays, we have worked out a way of getting a hospital bed in the dining room, I’ll put the table and chairs in the garage. It’s the only way, whilst we wait to be re-housed.

Tomorrow you move, I’ll be meeting you there. It’s been an emotional day, leaving the O.C.E. the therapists and staff have been just wonderful. I keep telling you one day we will walk back in there and thank them, together, you standing tall and strong...

I sat with you today reminiscing how you were when you first arrived. Hoisted in and out of bed, not able to hold up your head, you would sit flopped over in the chair. Fed through a gastric peg, sleeping still a lot. You couldn’t talk, let alone even make a noise at that time. You had no control over movements or hand gestures. Still having epileptic fits. You were shaky, trembled a great deal.

Now as I look at you today, feeding you your pureed lunch, I cannot believe how far you have come. Eating pureed food, the occasional seizure, fits are under control. You no longer tremble, you hold your head up proud! You sit for minutes, alone, unaided…they have you walking, three support you, with a huge walking frame, but you get upright, you practice. And you tell me you love me, I have that! I have that wonderful, wonderful that! To hear you love me, how lucky am I? To have your voice again, your smile, your laugh…You cuddle me with the one arm that works, I have your touch…

No, you’re not exactly you, who you were, or how you were, yes it’s all totally changed, the dynamics, well, it’s all changed, but my love for you, your love for me has not…

I have you, different, but a new, different you, and oh how I am blessed…

I love you Alex Wood, let’s keep pushing, keep going, keep on till you’re home.

Me xxxxxxxxxxxx